Tinders and Bosses

Tinders and Bosses

 

THROWBACK THURSDAY.png

Hello and happy Thursday. Raise your hand if you’ve had an awkward Tinder experience. I’d certainly need to raise both hands and both feet, and you’ll see why in today’s post.

I originally was going to talk about one awkward Tinder experience, the most recent one, and then I realized that I had two stories I could tell you today, so why not just do it? Like the title says, yes, it involves potential and former bosses, but I assure you, nothing inappropriate happened.

The first story takes place in the magical city of Berlin, where men think it is okay to text an unknown woman asking her to peg them. I was pretty disappointed by my lack of online luck in this city that seems to be oozing hot men. Still, I was doing what I did when I was bored: swiping on Tinder. These men were indeed very hot, but they lacked something for me to really give them my swipe of approval, you know? No profile was standing out to me, that is until I found L’s.

If I were to describe L, I’d say he is the German version of Jason Momoa. Tall, pale, and handsome. He was the CEO of an afterschool I worked at in university and a few months after I’d finished my subjects and was awaiting graduation. To clarify, I was working in Colombia. That’s where I met L. And even though L was super hot, I think I was way past the stupid crush stage at that point and didn’t really care for him. We had a heart-to-heart before I left that company to work at a school, and after that, I didn’t see him again.

I then found out that soon after I’d left, the company completely changed and L, among other foreigners, had left as well. I had heard from someone that L was in Mexico, but I didn’t confirm this information because I wasn’t really interested in reaching out. During my summer in Berlin, I found out that we were actually in the same city. How do I know? Because I was swiping on Tinder, I found his profile. I took a screenshot and sent it to a friend who knew him and she said I should totally swipe right. I didn’t, not because I didn’t actually find him yummy or because I wasn’t curious, but honestly I was a bit afraid of the awkwardness if we matched (or my disappointment if we didn’).

Nothing was as awkward as what happened to me a few months ago. You know that I have been active on online dating apps for years now, but I have been able to separate that with other aspects of my life, such as my job. Sure, sometimes I will find someone I know on Tinder, but I’ll just swipe left and carry on with my life. There are some profiles that belong to people I don’t know but that become memorable.

I remember this profile of a very white guy that said: “my name is J, and I am from Chocó.” Now, Chocó is a department in Colombia that is mostly black. This guy was clearly a foreigner and thought that his joke was funny. I thought it was plain dumb, so I swiped left. This didn’t stop me from remembering him. Also, I’m pretty sure I saw him on Tinder and Bumble, so double the effect.

I clearly remember this tagline because it literally was the same introduction a guy gave me…at a job interview. I kid you not. The guy who would be my boss approached me, shook my hand, and said: “hi, I’m J and I’m from Chocó.” I don’t know if he recognized me the way I had him, or if maybe he saw in my facial expression that I knew him from somewhere, but I can tell you, from the beginning, that interview went to shit.

Something that you probably don’t know about me is that I sweat a lot. I don’t mean that my armpits sweat, I mean my face, my palms, my back, the back of my knees. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s not pretty. Guess who opened the waterworks at the job interview with J, the Tinder guy? I don’t know if I went on first-date mode or what, but I could tell that I was failing miserably. Of course, at that moment I thought how awkward it would be to actually get that job and have that guy as my boss. I would have been forced to delete my Tinder and Bumble accounts. Yes, those are the things that go through my mind.

I ended up not getting the job and I think it was for the better, but at least this whole mess resulted in a funny story to tell you. Has something similar happened to you? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

 

Advertisements
My Existential Crisis

My Existential Crisis

 

THROWBACK THURSDAY.png

Hello and happy Thursday. I had a phase when I was fifteen. I thought I was “not like other girls,” and wore tight pants and dark clothes. My biggest aspiration of the time was to attend the Warped Tour and I spent my free time watching TAI TV.

I was a diehard fan of indie/alternative rock, and yes, Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll by the Killers was my anthem. I was still best friends with my two best friends. I didn’t stop hanging out with them but somehow I squeezed in the time to hang out with another group of girls who had my same music interests. This was a phase that I cannot describe as a happy one, and now, ten years later, as I have gained knowledge about my own mental health I can only speculate that this “phase” was probably ever so slightly coated with depression. Perhaps by thinking that I was better than everybody else because I didn’t like mainstream stuff I was hiding my anxiety, justifying why I’d stopped going out when we all know that when you’re fifteen you’re at the prime of your school social life, that this is a definitive age for the years to come.

My favorite bands included All Time Low, We The Kings, Boys Like Girls, Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, The Maine, Plain White T’s, The Killers, The All American Rejects, The Cab, Cute Is What We Aim For, Panic! At The Disco, The Hush Sound, Jimmy Eat World, Paramore and Death Cab For Cutie, but my all time favorite band, the one that took the cake, was The Academy Is… (Just so you know, the … are is part of the band’s name). I remember the day I got introduced to William Beckett in all his androgynous gorgeousness. I was watching MTV when its contents weren’t limited to Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Catfish (I love them all, by the way), and watched this amazing video that would change at least the following year of my life. If I’m not mistaken, it was the actual release of About A Girl, and all the stars aligned so that I could watch it.

Because of my obsessive-compulsive nature, I researched everything about The Academy Is… and discovered that About A Girl belonged to Fast Times At Barrington High, the third album of the band. I also found out that they had an EP called “The Academy” but it was too dark and weird, even for my taste at the time. Needless to say, I became obsessed, and the best part of it all was that I found a group of girls in my grade that knew about The Academy Is… and actually liked their music. One of my oldest friends actually, a girl whom I’ve known since I was four years old, was part of that group.

It was awesome to see their dynamic because they all knew about these bands I had discovered but they all had a favorite, we all did. Mine was TAI, of course, J’s was The Cab, C’s was My Chemical Romance, P’s was The Killers, R’s was Panic! at the Disco, and A’s was Fall Out Boy. We felt special because we knew something that nobody else did. We had uncovered this magical world that none of our classmates, not even my very best friends knew about. What a shitty group of teenagers we were.

After the fiasco that was my fifteenth birthday, I had started rethinking my behavior. I knew that, in a way, I had gotten what I deserved, since I’d isolated myself from most of my other classmates when there was really no need to do that because I’d always sort of been accepted by everyone. I needed one last hoorah, so for my fifteenth birthday, my dad took me and my sister on a trip. We stayed for a few days in New York City, then flew to Chicago for one night to see The Academy Is… in concert, and then went back to NYC for another couple of days. Halfway through the trip, my dad ran out of money, so instead of having breakfast we would leave the hotel by noon and have an early lunch. Oh, the things parents do for ungrateful, undeserving kids.

When I got back to Bogota I already knew that I was done with my existential crisis, as I call it now. Part of what helped me make the decision was seeing the pictures of me from the trip.  I looked awkward, unsmiling, and I made it my mission to learn how to smile for pictures, even if at first the smiles felt fake and out of place. I think the rest just came naturally. I started buying more “mainstream” clothes and spending more time with my best friends. I went back to parties and concluded it had been stupid of me to think that I was better than anybody else just for having a different taste in music. I can’t say I regret my existential crisis, but now that ten years have gone by, I know that there was something else going on with me at that time, and I’m glad I overcame it.

What was your favorite band or musician when you were a teenager? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

Welcome to Thankful Thursday

Welcome to Thankful Thursday

Lovely Wholesale

Copy of THROWBACK THURSDAY.pngHello and happy Thursday. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, then probably you’ll find the title and thumbnail a bit familiar. Don’t worry, Throwback Thursday is still a thing, but I have decided that the last Thursday of every month is going to be Thankful Thursday.

Here’s the part where I give you some context. For a while now, I’ve had this notebook I titled “Things That Make Me Happy.” It has only a few empty pages now, so I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last me (don’t worry, I have backup). Anyway, I write in that notebook every single day at around 6 pm about something that made me happy. When I started, I didn’t have a defined number of things, so I’d just write whatever came to mind, then I settled on five things, and finally when I started working and being busy I reduced it to one thing.

Now what I want to do is share each month five random things that made me happy. I might provide some context if I remember that specific day or event. Today I’ll share with you five things that made me happy in March of 2017. And after that super long intro, let’s get started, shall we?

March 2nd, 2017 

#337: New blogging projects. 

Now, you’ll see that the style in which I write these happy things down will change with time. This is how I used to record the happy things at the beginning, by keeping track of the number and everything. Don’t get used to that. Now, regarding the event itself, by then I was already contemplating the idea of getting rid of my four unsuccessful Blogger blogs, and making them one WordPress blog, which has proven very successful so far. This isn’t when I made the blog and actually started posting, but it’s like the day before, when I was sure I was going to do it.

March 6th, 2017

#357: Leftover salad for lunch.

Yes, I remember this particular salad, in the same way that I remember almost everyone and everything in my life. I had recently started going to the nutritionist, and I was really committed to sticking to the eating plan she’d designed for me. If you’re interested to know about that, check out my Journey to Healthy Living series [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]. Anyway, I was at my best friend’s house on a Sunday and we ordered to this place that sells amazing pizza and fried mozzarella and cookies, but instead of ordering any of those, I went for a salad, and because my soul is weak, I couldn’t eat the whole thing, so I took it home, put it in the fridge, and ate it for lunch the following day. Do I think I was genuinely happy about eating leftover salad for lunch? No, but I think I was proud of myself for doing it.

March 14th, 2017

#397: Not having to wear a lab coat.

Over my years working at schools, I’ve had to wear lab coats twice. Here, I’m referring to my first job at a school, in which I had to wear this Heather gray lab coat that always looked dirty. The advantage was that it had huge pockets where I used to keep all sorts of things. It could even hold a small notebook! I only had to wear it on days when students actually came to have class, so on those other days when we had meetings and stuff, I was free and didn’t have to wear the always-dirty-looking coat.

March 17th, 2017

#413: Finding out this is a three-day weekend.

Has this happened to you? Going about your life thinking you have to go to work on a Monday and then finding out that said Monday is actually a holiday? Maybe it happens more often in Colombia because we have so many holidays, but let me tell you, I’m that person who always goes “see you on Monday,” and has to be reminded by someone that, oh no, Monday is actually a holiday. I find that even more exciting than already knowing that you have one more day off way in advance, don’t you?

March 27th, 2017

#464: Advancing tons in a book. 

We don’t even need the context on this one because this could make anyone happy in basically every situation ever. I’m not a fast reader, and even though I love books, I take my time with them and read about one per week or so. On top of that, reading big books is sort of intimidating for me, so I guess on this particular day I was able to read many pages from a very big and scary book and I felt proud of myself for that. Who wouldn’t, really?

Those were five things that made me happy and that I wanted to share with you for this month’s Thankful Thursday. I would love to know one thing that has made you happy today, so if you’d like to share, you can do so in the comments.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

My 18th Birthday

My 18th Birthday

THROWBACK THURSDAY (2).pngHello and happy Thursday. So far, I’ve told you about my 15th birthday, which was absolutely crappy, and my 25th birthday, which was super lowkey because I spent it traveling with my mom. Well, when I turned 18, I felt like one of those stereotypical popular girls you see in shows and movies.

I turned 18 on a Friday, and that day was coincidentally a Jean’s Day, which meant I wouldn’t run the risk of wearing the wrong uniform again. I was in eleventh grade, which means I was a senior. The eleventh grade classrooms faced each other and were connected by a terrace on one side. This is relevant information, I promised.

One of my best friends was in eleventh B with me, and the other one was in eleventh A. It was common for girls to go to either classroom before the bell rang and hang out there, but when I got to my classroom, I noticed nobody was there. I went to eleventh A, and I was almost inside, when I heard squeals and whispers, and then somebody closed the door and told me to go to my classroom, which I did because I didn’t have much of a choice.

Some of my friends arrived and gave me candy, but there was still no sign of my best friends. The bell rang and everyone from my class was sitting down as always, when the door burst open and all the girls from the other classroom came in and started singing “happy birthday” to me. They were preceded by my best friend, who was carrying one of her mom’s famous chocolate cakes. I was over the moon.

At lunch time, the entire cafeteria sang happy birthday to me, and we cut the cake and gave a piece to every girl from my class, plus my sisters and some of her friends, and this girl who was turning 15 and wasn’t having the best time.

I would love to know about your own 18th birthday. Was it as special as mine was? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

My 25th Birthday

My 25th Birthday

THROWBACK THURSDAY (1).pngHello and happy Thursday. Yes, I turned 25 last year, and despite my fears preceding that date, I haven’t felt old or like I should be doing other things with my life. I’m in no rush to get married or have kids, and I honestly don’t think I will regret feeling this way years down the road. Today, though, rather than talking about what being 25 years old has felt like, I want to share with you how I spent my birthday. Let’s get started, shall we?

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know that last year I had a tough few months, and that I wasn’t in the best place regarding my mental health. By the time I turned 25, I was on the road to being myself again, but I didn’t want to put myself in a vulnerable state, especially for a birthday that people deem so important. I don’t know, I sort of had this idea that if I stayed home, I’d be feeling miserable, which is why I did what I did.

A month before my birthday, I bought plane tickets for me and my mom. We would spend my birthday weekend in this beautiful city close to where we live. I bought her a ticket because I’ve always thought that a birthday is also a day for the mom to celebrate and be celebrated. As a present to me, she paid for the hotel, which was super luxurious.

Let me tell you: there’s nothing better than spending your birthday traveling. Sure, if you like big parties and being the center of attention, maybe you’ll prefer that, but if like me, you struggle with depression and anxiety, maybe going away, even if it’s for just a weekend, is a fantastic option.

My mom and I went to the nicest places, we walked around, went sightseeing, got massages, and ate chocolate cake, courtesy of the hotel. I couldn’t have thought of a better way to spend my 25th birthday.

In the comments below, tell me about a memorable birthday.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

My Exchange Pt. 7

My Exchange Pt. 7

THROWBACK THURSDAY.pngHello and happy Thursday. The time has come to go back in time to when I traveled to the States and stayed at a high schooler’s house for a week. Yes, this is part seven of the story of my exchange. Let’s get started, shall we?

I was with my Colombian friend Irene, experiencing a snowstorm in Middle of Nowhere, Maine, remember? And Ruth, my host, had two friends over and she’d sort of thrown a sleepover party that didn’t include us. It was fine, Irene and I had our own sleepover, and we even ate cookies we’d baked the previous night, like true Americans.

The morning after the two improvised sleepover parties, the actual morning of the snow storm, Irene and I woke up early and noticed that we didn’t hear the usual sounds of people hurrying up to get ready and make it to school. In fact, it felt like everyone was still sleeping, so we left our room to investigate. We went to Ruth’s room, which wasn’t a place we’d frequented. I don’t think we were really welcome there.

Ashley was sleeping on the floor, and Ruth and her friend Shawn were sitting on the bed. The room was a mess, with pillows and sheets all over, and we couldn’t figure out who’d slept where, which made us ask Ruth whether she and Shawn had slept on the same bed. That’s not a bad question, right? Like we weren’t judging or anything, we were just asking. She said they had and I don’t know if Irene and I smiled or something because Ruth got all flustered, and told us that she’d been kidding and that Shawn had slept on the floor. After that, we had to excuse ourselves and go back to our rooms; it would’ve been bad to laugh right at Ruth’s face, wouldn’t it?

Susan, Ruth’s mom, couldn’t pronounce Irene’s name the way Latinos do, so she’d call her Rene, which I found hilarious. She also pronounced my name the American way, and that’s something I’ve begun to find unnerving with the years. I mean, we pronounce your white-people names correctly, can’t you even try? Aside from that, though, the day was nice and nothing bad happened, like the phone call to our teacher had been just a bad dream.

Irene and I hung out at the living room while Ruth did her thing with her friends. She asked Shawn whether he wanted to go outside and because we were pretty bored, we tagged along even if the invitation hadn’t been extended to us. While we were wearing thermal PJ’s, jackets, mittens, and boots, Shawn was wearing sweatpants and he was barefoot. We went outside and played in the snow for a while until Ruth warned us about frostbite, which got us a bit paranoid.

Paranoia lasted until Irene remember she had brought her camera because pictures obviously beat having your fingertips freeze. Irene asked Shawn to take pictures of us, and he agreed, so he left Ruth in the porch by herself (Ashley was probably still sleeping inside) and played photographer for a while. I was trying my best to look like I didn’t hate the snow with every inch of my body, but you be the judge if you see the pictures. Real talk, though: snow fights are not as cool as everybody says.

When the shoot finished and we were walking back inside, Irene asked Shawn for her camera and thanked him for the pictures. Then Ruth approached him and told him, in what was far from a whisper, that she was sure we had a crush on him. Oh, wow.

And that’s it for today’s Throwback Thursday. Do you like the snow? What did you do on snow days? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Thursday!
Love, Miss Camila

To All the Guys I’ve Liked Before

To All the Guys I’ve Liked Before

THROWBACK THURSDAY (6).png

Hello and happy Thursday. Sue me, Jenny Han, for plagiarizing your book title for this post. Trust me, I thought of other words to go instead of “guys,” but I decided I should at least try to seem like a respectable woman, for once.

This post isn’t really about those guys I’ve had crushes on that were super intense until they weren’t because even from a young age I discovered I got disenchanted almost as fast as I developed a crush in the first place. This post is about the guys I have already dedicated posts to because if I’ve learned something about blogging, especially now that I have Thursdays to specifically talk about myself and my life, and not the other things that are external to me and that make up the content for all the other days, is that once I’m over something, I feel like talking about it. Maybe it’s the other way around, maybe I don’t write about something because I’m over it. There’s a chance that I write so that I can get over that. Like once the words have been typed, I am free because I got closure.

I know it might be unfair to put all these men in one single box, to strip them from their individuality. I once made a list of them. Then I had to keep modifying the list, adding names I’d forgotten about. Embarrassingly enough, sometimes I had to add “the guy from Tinder who liked football” because I couldn’t remember their names. Are there guys in the list with whom I’d still want to at least have occasional contact? Yes. I know I’ll get a few eyerolls here, but there are guys that are cool, that are good people. Yes, the circumstances for our paths crossing weren’t ideal, but if I were quick to judge them all as trash, then I would have to do the same with myself. And I think I deserve at least the benefit of the doubt.

Deleting Snapchat wasn’t an abrupt thing, you know? I mean, I did tell you about the series of events that got me to decide that. But even after I thought I was done with the app, I downloaded it again and found a couple of messages from guys. And so I was honest with them. I told them I was done the dynamic we were having. I didn’t tell them I was done with them, but I understood if they were done with me. I mean, if you sign up for French classes and in the middle of the course you’re told that you’re not getting any more lessons in French, but you could take German instead, you’d most likely want to quit and go somewhere that offers what you want.

I got surprising reactions from them. The one who I thought would understand got all upset. I thought he was done but then he sent me some weird topless pics. I say weird because he’d never sent me something like that. Two other guys were super cool about it. One was flirty and evoked things from our brief and dirty online past, but in a playful manner. He didn’t send any more pics or asked me. The other guy was kind of concerned because obviously we had had something going on and it was going to change. I told him I didn’t want to lose him and he said he didn’t want to lose me, but it was obvious things wouldn’t be as nice and seamless as they once were. And you know what? I was okay with it.

Yes, I know there are some guys I might not be over, but I’m over the way our…thing started. I’m over that period of my life in which I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about the things I was going through, about what was going on in my mind. And I’ve even been able to open up to one of those guys from the list about the depression and anxiety I was experiencing when he and I started talking. And I think that made him understand at least a tiny bit better why I wanted to change my way of doing things.

If there’s anything you want to give closure to, you can leave it in the comments.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila