Final Edition of Weird OKCupid Messages|| Edición Final de Mensajes Raros de OK Cupid

Final Edition of Weird OKCupid Messages|| Edición Final de Mensajes Raros de OK Cupid


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Hello and happy Friday. I’ve been kinda done with the whole “weird OKCupid messages” thing for a while, but I had some saved, so I’ve decided to share them with you in a final post so that we can be done with this series and move on with our lives. Let’s get started, shall we?

Imran: “Hi…Can we be Friends?”

Like I’ve said many times before: if what you say in your message isn’t something that you’d say to a person in real life, then don’t send that message. Seriously, I’d freak out if a stranger approached me and asked me if we could be friends. I have also talked about this trend I’ve seen in messages, and I think this is just a quick way to spot vulnerable, lonely women and scam them. If you want to find friends online then go to Bumble and select the BFF feature.

Tarun: “I’m sure doing this finger exercise in not what you seek in life and would rather cherish to hold palm of someone real who respect and admire you. Loved the way you express and your glimpse you have posted. Have no intention to waste your time or mine but rather find someone to grow old with. I can ensure you won’t regret investing your time. May be we can be great friends if nothing. Would await to hear from you. Stay bless and keep smiling.”

Remember when I did the “anatomy of a great first message” post? Well, this is the anatomy of a scam. First, this is poorly translated, and I can bet that the person who sent it doesn’t even speak English. Second, it goes straight to potential insecurities or weak points, if I were a really vulnerable woman, desperate to just meet someone to grow old with. I mean, that first line alone is another version of “what’s a beautiful woman like you online dating?” Then, of course, the person goes straight to saying that what we both want is something real, something that will last forever, but that if it doesn’t happen we can still be friends. Sure, buddy, because friends lend each other money and help each other become U.S citizens. It saddens me how many people fall for messages like this every day.

Shanil: “Hi 🙂 Can we chat a bit if not longer? :>”

This person is probably a scammer, too, but they’re lazier. I mean, maybe they want to sweet-talk women, but they’ll save the initial effort. Still, this person must’ve gotten responses from someone who was lonely, or bored, or maybe someone who was still new to online dating and thought, at the sight of this killer pickup line, “well, this was easier than I’d thought.” Messages like the ones I’ve shown you today, but especially like this one are the ones that have made me stop using OKCupid altogether. If anything, I prefer an app where the messages I get are from someone I’ve previously liked, and not just some random person looking for a Green Card.

Now, I have a winner, which I’m saving for last. I want you to think of a response for this message and share it in the comments below.

Terry: “Hey, I was going to write something clever but then my cat jumped on my balls and crippled me.” 

Happy Friday!

Love, Miss Camila




Miss Camila.png

Hola y feliz viernes. Hace un rato he estado cansada de la cosa de los “mensajes raros de OK Cupid,” pero tenía unos guardados, entonces decidí compartirlos con ustedes en una publicación final para que podamos todos terminar esta serie y seguir con nuestras vidas. ¿Comenzamos?

Imran: “Hola…¿Podemos Ser Amigos?”

Como he dicho muchas veces: si lo que dices en tu mensaje no es algo que le dirías a una persona en la vida real, entonces no mandes ese mensaje. En serio, yo me asustaría si un extraño se me acercara y me preguntara si podemos ser amigos. También he hablado de esta tendencia que he visto en los mesnajes, y creo que es simplemente una forma de encontrar mujeres solas y vulnerables para cometer fraude. Si quieres encontrar amigos en línea, entonces ve a Bumble y selecciona la opción de BFF.

Tarun: “Estoy seguro que hacer este ejercicio de dedos no es lo que buscas en la vida y que en cambio quisieras agarrar palma de alguien real que respete y te admire. Amé la forma en que expresas y tu mirada que has publicado. No intenciones de gastar tu tiempo o el mío pero en vez encontrar a alguien con quien envejecer. Puedo asegurar que no vas a arrepentirte de invertir tu tiempo. Tal vez podamos ser grandes amigos si nada. Esperaría oír de ti. Sigue bendice y sigue sonriendo.” 

¿Se acuerdan de mi publicación de “la anatomía del gran primer mensaje”? Bueno, esta es la anatomía de un fraude. Primero, esto está muy mal traducido, y puedo apostar que la persona que envió esto ni siquiera habla inglés (el idioma en el que me fue enviado el mensaje originalmente). Segundo, esto va directo hacia las potenciales inseguridades o los puntos débiles; si yo fuera una mujer muy vulnerable, desesperada por simplemente conocer a alguien con quien envejecer. Quiero decir, solamente esa primera línea es otra versión de “¿qué hace una mujer hermosa como tú en una aplicación de citas?” Luego, claro, la persona va directamente a decir que lo que ambos queremos es algo real, algo que va a durar toda la vida, ero que si no pasa, podemos ser amigos. Claro, amigo, porque los amigos se prestan plata entre ellos y se ayudan para volverse ciudadanos de Estados Unidos. Me entristece cuántas personas caen todos los días con mensajes como este.

Shanil: “Hola 🙂 ¿Podemos hablar un poquito si no más? :>”

Esta persona probablemente también comete fraude, pero es más perezosa. Quiero decir, tal vez quiere decirle cosas bonitas a las mujeres, pero se ahorra el esfuerzo inicial. Igual, esta persona seguramente obtuvo respuestas de alguien que estaba solo, o aburrido, o tal vez de alguien nuevo a las aplicaciones de citas y que pensó, al ver este arrasador primer mensaje, “bueno, esto fue más fácil de lo que pensé.” Mensajes como este son los que me han hecho dejar de usar OKCupid completamente. Si algo, prefiero una aplicación en la que los mensajes que recibo son de alguien que me gustó, y no simplemente una persona cualquiera que busca una Green Card.

Ahora, tengo un ganador, que estoy guardando para el final. Quiero que piensen una respuesta para este mensaje y la compartan en los comentarios.

Terry: “Oye, iba a escribir algo inteligente pero luego mi gato me saltó en las bolas y me dejó inválido.” 

¡Feliz viernes!

Con amor, Miss Camila

Online Dating Pet Peeves

Online Dating Pet Peeves



Hello and happy Friday. It’s kind of odd that I’m writing this because just yesterday I deleted my Bumble, Tinder, and OKCupid accounts. Yes, I deleted them as in my profile no longer exists in any of those apps. I might or might not be explaining that in another post, but that would be months from now, so don’t hold your breath on that one. Anyway, now that I’ve said goodbye to those apps, I want to share some of my pet peeves when it comes to the world of online dating. Let’s get started, shall we?

1. “Just Ask”

I’ve said this before. I first look at pictures and if I’m interested I go for the profile. I always look at the profile, even if I’m just skimming through it. Obviously with Bumble and Tinder, the bio thing is different. On Tinder you’re supposed to write something very short but that grabs people’s attention and with Bumble you know get the chance to sort of complement your profile by answering questions, so basically they make the bio for you. If you signed up for OKCupid though and you’re not willing to at least put two coherent sentences together about who you are and what you’re looking for, boy bye.

2. Texts. Gets Reply. Doesn’t Text Back

So I’ve done experiments in which I reply to the most outrageous first messages and nine times out of ten the guy won’t keep the conversation going. Honestly in those cases I feel like they weren’t really prepared for a response, so they genuinely don’t know what to say next. The guys who say “hey” and expect an essay in return are just delusional. E-Harmony has a nice feature to avoid this to happen. You can pick from a set of questions to ask your match, which is a nice ice-breaker and a cool conversation starter. Also, if you feel like the conversation is dying, you can revive it with a question. But even if you don’t have E-Harmony, I think it would be cool to think of stuff to ask the other person, even if it can be a little random.

3. “What Are You Looking For?”

This is unacceptable in pretty much all online dating apps and I’ll tell you why. Bumble has a feature where you can actually select from a series of options whether you’re looking for something casual, marriage, or just friends. There is a “not sure” option, in which case I guess it would be fine if someone asked something along the lines of “hey, I saw that you’re not sure what you’re looking for, want to elaborate on that one?” or something of the sort. OKCupid and other more “serious” apps also straight up ask what you’re looking for and if you ask that question, chances are you didn’t read my profile. Now on Tinder it’s common that people are explicit in their bio about what they are and aren’t looking for. I personally didn’t include that information and still found that question annoying. I think that kind of question is not really a curious one, like you want to know we’re a good much. I feel that you’re rather looking for a way to tell me you don’t care what I want, you just want sex. You think I’m exaggerating? Okay, chances are you’re a man and you ask this question. Whenever I was asked this, I’d say I wanted a rich husband, and all men would reply with something sexual. Not nice, my friend. Better specify it in your bio and save us a little time.

4. “Hey!”

If we’ve been talking for a while now, or you said you were going to be MIA for a while and now you’re back, then text me hey. If we’re strangers and you want to know whether we are compatible, please come up with something a little more creative. I don’t think I can remember any good conversation that started with hey. In my opinion, just try harder or don’t try at all.

5. Did You Even Read My Profile?

That’s not in quotations because this is not something I’ve been told but rather something I constantly think. Whenever “conservative” men would swipe right on me, men who explicitly said they “didn’t want any feminists” or fat girls, I would gag. How hard is it to just look at someone’s profile? Seriously dude. You’re wasting both of our times. We are not compatible and you could have known that already.

What’s one of your online dating pet peeves? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Friday!

Love, Miss Camila

Replying to Every OKC Message I Get

Replying to Every OKC Message I Get

Lovely Wholesale

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Hello and happy Saturday. I promised and I’m delivering. After I finished the last Weird Messages post (which is not going to be the last in existence, just the last I’ve put together), I decided it’d be fun to go ahead and reply to all the messages I got from strangers on OK Cupid. I thought “maybe sometimes I’m being too superficial. What if one of these guys I usually ignore is actually Prince Charming?” Well, I wasn’t too convinced about that second part, but I still thought if anything it would be a fun little experiment, and you know I’m all for that.

I know for a fact that there are people who reply to every message they get because they feel it’s the right thing to do or whatever. I don’t, especially not when I know the message is copy-paste, which means it’s basically a line somebody sends to all their possible matches in the hopes that someone will fall for it. For this “experiment,” I had to leave that aside and take every message as if it had been written specifically for me, they way I think first messages should always be.

Here’s a huge spoiler for you: no, I didn’t “meet” Prince Charming, or I don’t think I’ve met him yet. I did make a discovery, or rather confirmed a theory I’d had for a while. You see, a while ago I said that maybe some of the people who send this long messages that make little sense don’t actually expect or anticipate an answer, so when they get one, they literally don’t know what to say.

Over and over, I’d reply to messages that went from “hi,” to the standard scam: “hello, my name is _________ from ___________ and I want us to be friends,” and I think in 95% of the cases I didn’t get a response, or I got one and then the conversation just died. Now, I think I’m good at keeping a conversation going, but if I’m getting nothing from the other end, I’m not even going to try.

I stopped replying to every message, of course, because I really saw no point in it, and now I’m back to being super picky. I honestly feel that, like with everything in life, a little guidance in the online dating work can get people what they want (or whom they want), and I know I’m not an expert, but if you think you need any help, then check my posts (search for the “online dating”  and “ok cupid” tags) and send me a message via the contact form .

In the comments below, tell me the kind of person you are when online dating: do you reply to every message just to be nice? Or are you selective like me?

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

I Got Tinder Gold

I Got Tinder Gold

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Hello and happy Saturday. Given my decision of coming back home, I had to sit down and be honest with myself about this plan of mine of marrying a foreigner, most likely an American, and living abroad. I had to be realistic, come to terms with the fact that 1) this isn’t my priority right now, and 2) if I’m staying in Colombia, chances are I’ll end up with a Colombian guy, and that is fine. Okay, I’m still working on that one, but for now let’s stick to #1, right? It’s not like I want to get married any time soon, anyway.

Still, I decided I needed to start somewhere, to look around, to “shop local.” I already had Tinder and Bumble on my phone (Bumble is still completely useless for me, thank you very much), but thought it’d be a good idea to pay for the upgraded service. Let me note here that I paid just about the same amount of money for one week of Bumble Boost than what I paid for a full month of Tinder Gold. That’s ridiculous, seriously.

Because Bumble is absolutely useless to me and has gotten me nowhere, and trust me, I’ve tried it in four countries already, I’m going to stick to Tinder Gold. When you pay for Tinder, I think you get the chance to change your location, so if I were to travel somewhere soon and wanted to be in contact with locals beforehand, I could just type that location instead of my current one. I’m saying “I think” because I haven’t used that feature, and I’m not sure it’s actually available for Tinder Gold. What I do know is that you’re shown every person who’s ever liked or swiped right on you.

Tinder is still relatively new, right? Like, it’s probably been around for three or four years, and I’m one of its OG users for sure. I don’t know if I’ve deleted my Tinder account, but I think not, and because it’s linked to my Facebook and I’ve always kept the same profile, I’m inclined to think that my current Tinder is the one I’ve had from the start. I’m giving you this time frame as a reference so that you understand that I’m by no means a bombshell who over the course of a week got more than 2000 likes. This is something that’s been building up for years.

I’m sure we’ve all seen that trend in the Youtube beauty world where the people just went from having 100 foundations to just keeping ten and stuff like that. The de-cluttering  trend. Well, I thought it’d be fun to do the same with my potential Tinder matches. Like I told you before, I’d used Tinder in four countries, and countless cities, so I would have a nice mix of men to look through.

My naïve mind thought “well, if for some reason I end up liking only 10% of the guys, that means I’ll have 200 matches, give or take.” That is a very good number if we’re talking about men possibly interested in me. The reality was like looking through a beauty guru’s makeup drawer: there’s a lot of random shit, some even has gone bad, and then there are just a couple things you’d like to save.

I think out of all the men I sorted through, I decided to match with, say ten. Out of those ten guys, one opened up with the wonderful “hey, how are you doing?” and with that killed the conversation before it even had a chance to become something else. To the other matches, I sent the generic “happy Monday!” or “hello handsome,” and the next day proceeded to unmatch all the guys who’d clearly read the message and had no interest in replying. At least unmatch me yourself, dude, spare me the effort.

Was there anything salvageable? Any conversation that made it past the generic messages? Well, this totally wasn’t going to be the moral of the story, but there was. Now that I think back on the whole process, I can conclude that finding that right person (not Mr. Right, or anything like that, just the right person at the right time) requires that we filter through a whole lot of people, through an app or in real life. And in the end most people don’t want to have 200 options to choose from, but just that one certainty. Again, I’m not talking about true love here or whatever, but I’m talking about a person that becomes special to us at a certain moment in our lives, and that makes us happy.

I’m being super cheesy here, so before I start quoting Nicholas Sparks, I’ll go. Would you ever use Tinder Gold? Let me know in the comments.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told on OkCupid Part 3.2

Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told on OkCupid Part 3.2


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Hello and happy Saturday. Today I have some more messages a few OkCupid users sent me. We’re actually only going to do three messages today, but I’m sure you’ll find them very entertaining. Let’s get started, shall we?


Ne’er: “I have been seeing from last few days. My friends make my fun about seeing you on online dating app. I say to them that I am into dilemma. Lol your eyes really make me cold feet. I want to talk to you but then again I feel that girl like you who received lot of messages from handsome guys, don’t want to talk to me. Really your picture make me happy and as well as nervous. My good friend is told me that just message you and tell you about everything. He said that if she like honesty and we are having long distance and which can doubt that serious things. But it would be great if we can be good friends.”

There is enough in this message to write an entire post on how NOT to write a first text, but I’ll try to be super concrete and brief. First of all, there’s the issue of his English. You know I sort of insisted on this during the first Weird Messages post: I get that English is not your first language, it isn’t mine either, we’re bound to make mistakes, but make sure to proofread your texts, and make sure they’re coherent and the person reading them will know what you mean. More often than not, I’ll swipe left on profiles with bad grammar because they seem like bots rather than an actual person.

The content of the message itself is just a big mess. This guy is neither here nor there, saying one thing and then totally contradicting himself in the next line. An example of this is the whole “my friends are making fun of me” but then he says his friend encouraged him to write the message. Which is it, dude? Apart from that, the whole fetching for pity thing and turning it to the girl, like guilt-tripping the girl because “sure if you’re a nice girl, you’ll reply to this text” is just a tacky strategy to have girls talk to you.

Now, I did all this dissection, and then for personal reasons, which I’ll explain some other time, I decided to delete my OkCupid account. I created a new one literally the day after that, so don’t worry children, mom’s back. Anyway, like the day after I created the new account this guy sends me this exact same message. And boy was I upset. Now, I usually just swipe left on copy-paste messages, right? But whenever I get two copy-paste messages from the same guy, and it’s happened like twice, I will say something because it’s enraging that I’m here wasting my time and effort in finding someone decent and a clever message to type, and then this guy just clicks “paste” and sends the same dumb sh*t to everyone. So I replied the following:

Dude, you literally sent me this exact message last week. Stop copy-pasting stuff and try to come up with your own original message for once. Maybe that way you can have a chance to actually meet a nice girl. 

I waited for the guy to read the message and then I blocked him.

smile: “You dont look 24 at all :)”

I don’t know why guys use stuff like age and body type as a compliment. I don’t mean this in a “women get upset when men talk about their age or body type” kinda way, but in a more “what are men trying to get at with this comments?” way. Like, I don’t know if this guy (who didn’t even display his first name) means that I look older or younger. I’ve been told both and I seriously couldn’t give any less sh*ts. I’m 24, even if you tell me I don’t look my age, and I don’t know how that can turn into a topic of conversation with a complete stranger. I always wonder what the reasoning behind these messages is.

Sean: “Hi how are you? Youre really cool i wanna talk to you? By the way are you in colombia temperary also? I have family here im on vacation. Also i love tattoos also. I love tattooed women :p”

Remember in The Office when Holly thought Kevin had cognitive disabilities? I kinda felt that way rereading this message and typing it for you guys. Like, what if this guy has some sort of condition and that’s why his message was all over? I feel cruel for even thinking that, but just look at the way it’s written. Then there’s the “I love tattooed women” part, which is a bit suggestive so I’m basically clueless as to how to take this message.

This concludes part 3 of the Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told on OkCupid series. I’m going to change things up and reply to every message I get sent, and of course document the experience and share it with you. In the comments, tell me what you think about copy-paste messages.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told On OkCupid pt. 3.1

Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told On OkCupid pt. 3.1

Announcement.pngHello and happy Saturday. After five years in the online dating world, a girl has to wonder “what the hell did I do to get such weird (and sometimes creepy) messages?” Seriously, I’ve changed my profile a few times over the years, I update my pictures frequently and I always make sure that what is in my profile doesn’t lead to people misunderstanding my intentions. And yet, here I come with a fresh batch of stuff that made me cringe and laugh and also question whether I’ll be single the rest of my life. I don’t remember if in previous posts I quoted the author of the message, but from now on I’ll do that. Don’t worry, if you did send me one of the messages, only your first name will be displayed, so you’ll be a little embarrassed but not publicly humiliated. Let’s get started, shall we?

Pratyush: “Not the best idea to start a conversation but instead of small talk (which I am weirdly terrible at) can we please pretend I used some really cool line and skip the boring part and talk about something more fin? Like how I am going to pay the bank my education loans? Or if you can make me feel better by telling me that you have them too? Also- what are your thoughts about pineapple?”

Oh wow, dear Pratyush. Your message was definitely something. My initial thought when rereading and typing this message was “this guy got that first line from a dating coach or something of the sort.” I mean, theoretically, I would see the whole “let’s skip the small talk and cut to the point” line work, although maybe it’s something that works better in person if you’re in like a bar or a party. So, okay, the intention was there, and it might have worked. What failed and turned this line into a mess? I think our dear friend here tried to improvise at the end, talking about student loans and pineapple. It was random, it was awfully personal in my opinion, and it was kind of desperate. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s copy-paste and you know how I hate those. Boy, bye.

Maamoun: “I got half a mind to take you to a very glamorous restaurant where the lights are low and the music is so soft. And  got half a mind to hear you breathe in ecstasy against my neck…”

Sweetie, I read mommy porn, I know you didn’t come up with that text yourself and I know you send it around to basically every girl out there and wait to see who actually falls for that cheesy line. Again, it sounds like a line from a dating coach. I mean, the title of the post is probably something like “How to Awaken Your Girl’s Sex Drive With One Line.” I hate sexual comments from strangers, and this kind of messages are the reason why I block so many people everyday on OkCupid.

Rahul: “Hi…can we become friends :)” 

No, honey, we can’t. That’s not the way you make friends. That’s the way you find girls in need of affection. Now, I don’t know this particular guy’s motives, but judging by the latest developments on 90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After, I’m now more suspicious about this type of messages, targeted to sad and lonely girls to fall in love with handsome and exotic strangers. You know who I’m talking about, right Azan?

Ted: “What do you think about guys who don’t wear underwear?”

Let me set the context for this message: I was actually talking to another guy at the time and I’d send him some of the weird messages I got for him to read. I sent him this one, and then I sort of felt challenged to reply, so I did. The truth is, I won’t think any more or less of a guy who doesn’t wear underwear. It’s your decision and your comfort. I think it’s weird that’s the first message he decides to send, like he really does care about what people think of his decision of going commando. Now an update because I know you’re curious: I’m not talking to either guy anymore.

M…:”Hi my eyes are stuck on your beautiful face and not going any where, any suggestions what to do now? Hope to hear from you soon”

I’m pretty sure this guy had a full name, but I couldn’t catch it. Anyway, it seems like the dating coach was giving out free copy-paste messages because this one is clearly one. This honestly makes me cringe, and I’m sure there’s a type of woman this kinda thing works with, it just doesn’t with me. I know too much about online dating to fall for that one. Also, I personally don’t like people straight up talking about my looks, you know? I’d rather you went ahead and tried to actually have a conversation, not throw that cheesy line at me and wait for my reaction.

mostafa: “hi my name is mostafa from Egypt i’m looking for a beautiful woman like u, and i want to spend my life with the right woman can we get to know each other.”

Now this is probably Azan’s first message to Nicole. It is clearly a scam, and I obviously didn’t fall for it, but I also understand why some women do. I mean, we all have different reasons why we go into online dating, and many people just feel lonely and desperate and in need of a connection they consider real. Many people want to find that someone to spend the rest of their lives with, and then here comes this guy who’s saying all the right things, all the things some people want to hear. I said it’s a scam earlier because in my mind arrangements that are based solely on convenience are, but to each their own.

Skybil: “I’m Bilal from Algeria we can be friends or maybe more how’s know if you Went Camela of course…I really like you.”

I want you to look at this and the previous messages and look at the similarities when it comes to structure. First they introduce themselves, then for some reason they say where they’re from, and after that they go straight to whichever proposition they have, which in both cases includes something “more” than being friends. Now I know this message got confusing in the middle, and I think what he meant to say was it I wanted to (my name is Camila, we all know that), but again it’s clearly a copy-paste that gets sent to see which vulnerable woman will actually respond.

Ka: “I love your body type”

How to get me upset? Give me unsolicited opinions about my body. Honestly, even if it’s to say you like it, don’t. I have full-body pictures in my profile, I have pictures wearing a bikini, I’m showing you exactly how I look like so that we’re both sure that if you swiped right it’s because you liked my body type, among other aspects of myself. I’ve talked about my body type in this blog, and I’ve told you I fall in this in between where I’m not really plus size, but I’m “big” for straight sizes. I have big legs and a booty and I have rolls, and I know how to rock them. So please don’t think you’re doing me a favor by saying you like my body type because there are men who genuinely do without having to wave a flag and announce it to the world. You and your kinks can go somewhere else, thank you.

This is getting super long, so let me just stop right there, and continue with part 3.2 next week, and I promise there is good stuff coming. In the comments below tell me if someone has ever tried to scam you online or in real life.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

The Anatomy of a Great First Message

The Anatomy of a Great First Message

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Hello and happy Tuesday. Today I bring you a nice Christmas present: I bring you probably the most memorable first message I’ve gotten. I know I’ve already talked a lot about why a first message is important, in the context of online dating, but today I want to give you a real-life example and I want us all to dissect and analyze it. Let’s get started, shall we?

Now, first and foremost, let’s get some context for those of you who are probably new here. After a not so great online dating experience, I decided to delete my OK Cupid account and give myself a month. I did, and following some dating advice from Mark Rosenfeld, I created an account from scratch. I believe I got this message on my first day back on OK Cupid. Here it goes:

“I don’t look like Josh Dallas, but I have tattoos and can flirt in awkward.” 

Okay, so I know this looks like a very weird message and that you’d probably swipe left if you got something like this, so I’m going to explain why it was so great for me. This message shows that the guy read my profile and used the information I provided to write something that is 100% personalized.

Yes, I’ve fallen for the “you seem really intelligent and interesting” messages, but you can literally send that to everyone, without even reading their profile. I’ve also gotten messages from people who clearly have only read part of my profile because they then ask me stuff they could’ve found out had they scrolled down a bit.

Now, let’s break this message into three parts, and analyze each, okay? That way you’ll understand why I thought it was so great and why you’ll want to get messages like this as opposed to the generic ones.

1. I don’t look like Josh Dallas. 

Josh Dallas is Prince Charming/ David in Once Upon a Time and he’s the embodiment of the kind of guy I want to marry someday. He’s attractive but not overly hot so as to make me feel insecure, and he looks like a fine lumberjack, and yes, I’m into that. In my profile, under the “what I’m looking for” section, I wrote something along the lines of “If you look anything like Josh Dallas, hit me up.” I appreciate the message even if, indeed, he looked nothing like the actor.

2. I have tattoos. 

Under that same section, I wrote “you’ll get bonus points if you have tattoos and/or are a teacher.” What? I like my men inked. I also feel that sometimes people without tattoos judge us inked people, like we harmed our body or something. I often like to be able to see the tattoos rather than to be told about them, but then again, this guy just wanted to score more points.

3. I can flirt in awkward. 

In the first section, which is the “self summary,” I wrote that I can flirt and curse in over four languages, which is true and I can prove it if we ever get to meet in person. His comment was funny and smart, and I’m sure some girl could find it charming. I personally don’t like awkward people, so that backfired for him, but it was still a nice try.

I’ll be completely honest here and tell you that I’m a shallow person and that looks matter to me. I’m saying that because despite the awesome message, when I checked out this guy’s pictures I realized I wasn’t interested in him at all. There were just too many things about his style that bothered me, that I had to swipe left. I kept the message, though, and maybe one day I’ll get one just as cool from a guy I genuinely feel attracted to.

Today because it’s Christmas in the U.S and everybody in Colombia will probably spend the day sleeping, tell me about something you wish to get, material or not.

Happy Tuesday!

Love, Miss Camila

I Tried Bumble

I Tried Bumble


Announcement (1)

Hello and happy Tuesday. You know that a while ago I declared that OKCupid was banned for me for a month, but what you don’t know is that during that time I tried other apps that were new for me. Honestly, my ultimate goal was to try and see if I could find an alternative that would make me forget about OKC. In that search, I came across Bumble, so I decided to download it and see what it was all about.

Before I tell you about my personal experience with this app, let me talk about how it works. It’s very similar to Tinder, probably even from the same “family” in that your account is connected to Facebook, and your location tracker has to be working, and that you swipe right if you like a profile and left if you don’t. Now, those are basically all the similarities because what makes Bumble stand out is the fact that women must take the initiative by being the only ones allowed to message first.

The idea of women texting first was interesting for me, and I think it’s what gets people to at least try the app. It clearly is meant to avoid those annoying and sometimes even harassing messages women get almost by default in online dating apps. Now, this is cool and all, but other apps have starting to step up their game: the fact that you can only message each other on Tinder if you match is a way to avoid unwanted messages, and on OKCupid people now have to “like” a person in order to message them, and the recipient must “like” back to reply, so Bumble’s attempt is nice but it’s not the only solution.

Let me clarify something before I keep talking about this app: I am a heterosexual woman and I went into Bumble looking for dates. I don’t know how it works for someone who is looking for a same-sex match in terms of who is allowed to text whom, although my logic tells me in those cases anyone can text first. There are also versions of the app for people who are looking exclusively for friends and networking, but I wasn’t interested in those, so I can’t give you my thoughts on them. If you’ve tried those or for some reason you know how they work, tell us in the comments below because I’m someone might be curious.

My first impression, and I’m talking about the impression I got within five minutes of setting up my account, was that the “quality” of the potential matches was better than what I’ve found using Tinder. Now, it’s been a while since I wrote my thoughts on Bumble, but now that I’m putting them together in this post, I think I know why this is. I’m no programmer and I only know a tiny little bit about how algorithms in some dating websites (OKCupid) work, but I’m almost certain that the most “attractive” men (aka the ones that have gotten the most right swipes) are put first with the purpose of, you guessed it, creating a great first impression for new users.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? You have a great first impression, so you’re excited to use the app. My excitement died within an hour of downloading Bumble. This is 100% my personal opinion, but I don’t like having to do “all the work,” especially when I’m online dating because I have pretty much failed in the real world. Of course I know I have to make an effort in any app I download, even if it’s at the beginning setting up my account. I could spend days not doing anything on OKCupid and still score messages, although I prefer to be active on the app and look at potential matches, even message some if I’m feeling bold. On Tinder, there is more “work” to do in the sense that you have to actively be swiping in order to get matches, but then the effort is divided in a way because either you or your match could be the one to text first: it doesn’t *have* to be you. On Bumble, however, you have to actively swipe and once you’ve matched with someone, then you must be the one who texts first, and that to me is just exhausting.

There were other things I wasn’t a fan of, like the fact that I couldn’t change the maximum distance of my potential matches. I also didn’t know what the distance criteria was, so I wasn’t sure what the maximum distance for matches was. I didn’t really like the format of the profile either, which was the same as Tinder: six pictures and a short bio. That format is pretty much a guarantee that nobody will read what you wrote, so why even bother coming up with this supposedly innovative app if people are still going to judge others by their pictures anyway?

We all know that I’m a big online dating nerd, so I notice things regular people who are just “seeing what’s out there” don’t. Bumble, like Tinder, is the kind of platform you’d like if you want to get matches and basically set a date with them right away, you know? I say this as opposed to getting matches and talking to them for two months before meeting (or before ghosting the other person). I don’t know, I think when I move to Baltimore I might consider trying it again for that purpose…no promises though.

A cool thing that Bumble has and Tinder doesn’t, at least not the free version, is the possibility to “backtrack,” which means if you accidentally swiped left, you can go back to their profile and swipe right. You get like three “backtracks” a day or something, which, again, is pretty cool.

Let’s end this post with a confession, okay? My last comment on Bumble was the following: “Using Bumble only makes me crave my OKCupid account even more.” And it did. My resolve almost faltered and I almost broke my ban, but I didn’t, I was strong and for that I’m proud of myself. I’ll tell you more in detail about how my experience with my new OKC account has been and how I’ve applied the things I’ve learned through dating advice, but right now I’m sort of bored with OKCupid, you know? I keep getting messages from guys who ask me when I’ll be traveling to Baltimore, and I just don’t feel the energy to maintain something via text for the next month and a half. I think I’ll keep my account and see what happens, but I’m leaning towards trying Tinder (or Bumble, if I have the energy) once I’m there, and see if I can start casually dating.

In the comments below tell me whether you know any success stories regarding Bumble.

Happy Tuesday!

Love, Miss Camila


Creating My Profile from Scratch

Creating My Profile from Scratch

Announcement.pngHello and happy Saturday. The longest month of my life is finally over, and I’m glad to tell you that I am back on OK Cupid, with a whole new profile I created following Mark Rosenfeld’s advice. In case you’re wondering, no, he’s not the only coach I follow. I recently started watching Matthew Hussey’s videos and reading his blog posts. I also got his book a while ago for reviewing purposes via Netgalley. In today’s post I’ll let you know what I took into account when filling out my profile, and I link you to sources you might find interesting. Let’s get started, shall we?

First and foremost, keep in mind that, in a way, I had a full month of preparation when it came to this profile. Many people impulsively make the decision of going into online dating. They think “f*ck it, I’ll just go on this or that app” and create a profile. I’ve done that, remember that I first went on OK Cupid five years ago. This time, though, I decided that in order to be smart about the whole online dating thing, I had to have a plan.

Ultimately, my plan had two parts. The first one was thinking about my profile in abstract, so I gathered general ideas of what an attractive profile should and shouldn’t include. I used many ideas from Mark’s blog post How to Be Down to Earth (And Why It’s So Attractive)  because I’m definitely trying to be more down to earth, and come across as one.

See, I’m concerned with the superficial because I’m a professional makeup artist and I’m obsessed with all things beauty, but that’s something that can probably come up in conversation on a date, and not a piece of vital information I *have* to include in my profile, right? Here comes the second aspect Mark relates to being down to earth, and it’s not bragging. I’m not a modest person, and I know I should be more humble, so part of it is finding ways to include in my the achievements I’m proudest of without sounding arrogant.

No online dating profile is perfect and I think we all could benefit from advice, but obviously that doesn’t mean you have the same concerns as I do or make the same mistakes I’ve made. You may be super down to earth and think I’m over the top for being superficial and for bragging. That’s totally okay; I’m trying to grow, and probably you are, too, in other aspects, which is why I’m linking the posts and videos I used so that you can check them out.

Now, I didn’t just sit in front of the computer and filled out my profile. I actually wrote “drafts” of answers to questions I remembered, and I would revise them, until I was satisfied with the result, and had all answers ready for the day when I created the profile. That worked for me because I was able to reflect upon what I really wanted to say, and not just type the first thing that came to my mind.

When reading Five Dating Profiles That Push Men Away,  I realized that I’d made two huge mistakes in the past, and that this time I had to avoid them completely:

1) I was negative, so I would write stuff like “do NOT text unless you want to have a real conversation” or things of the sort.

2) I was sort of projecting my frustrations with past online dating experiences. I remember after my first OK Cupid fail, in my new profile I wrote something like “text me if you’re willing to meet. This last guy would tell me that he loved me without even meeting me in person.”

I have seen those two in guys’ profiles, and it’s a total turnoff. I mean, what’s worse than the “not here to play games” or “tired of crazy bitches” lines? My current philosophy when it comes to online dating is: if I don’t like seeing something in a potential match’s profile, then why would I include it in mine?

Now, let’s talk about what makes a profile attractive. I took ideas from What Should I Write in My Online Dating Profile . The best piece of advice I got from that video was simply: be grateful. It is exactly the opposite of being restrictive or demanding, so instead of saying “you should only talk to me if you have tattoos,” I wrote “you’ll get bonus points if you’re inked.” I think this is a way of showing once preferences without coming of as bitchy.

On Tinder Dating Tips: How to Write Your Tinder Bio, Mark focuses on keeping the profile short and sweet. Yes, this is Tinder and I opened an OK Cupid account, but still, I said it once before: I don’t like to read long-ass profiles, so I’m not going to write a long-ass profile. I kept my answers to very short paragraphs, and I mean, two-sentence paragraphs at the most.

I also wanted to be smart when it came to my pictures, so I read 9 Secrets to an Attention Grabbing Profile Picture, and I watched Tinder Tips For Women: How to Choose Your Photos. From these two, I got an idea of which pictures to upload and why. For example, I added some pictures of me wearing little makeup or none at all. I also included pictures that weren’t selfies, and captioned all of them.

I realized that my whole mindset had to change, and not just my profile. Yesterday a guy actually asked me whether I was looking for friends with benefits, and my reply was “I’m looking. I don’t really know what I’m looking for.” That was my way of telling him that I’m open to meeting people and seeing what happens, as opposed to being set of looking for my husband. Mark refers to this in 6 Tinder Tips for Women, when he talks about not taking Tinder too seriously, and I think that’s my current mindset: not taking OK Cupid and online dating in general, too seriously.

Along that same line I had to embrace the fact that I’ll probably be spending months swiping left and right, and that yes, I have to swipe right more. I learned this from How To Get Matches On Tinder, The #1 Reason Online Dating Has Failed You, and 3 Attitudes You NEED To Date Successfully Online.

In the comments below tell me what you think makes a profile attractive.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila









Get My Attention on OK Cupid: Moving to Other Platforms

Get My Attention on OK Cupid: Moving to Other Platforms

Announcement (2).pngHello and happy Saturday. I’m really excited to bring you the last post of the “Get My Attention on OK Cupid” series because I think today’s topic is a make-it-or-break-it when it comes to progressing in online interactions. Even though my experiences with J and MHD failed because I’m currently not talking to either, they were successful in the way that they both progressed past OK Cupid. Basically, today I’m talking about how important it is for me to move to other platforms when the moment is right.

When I’m checking out a guy’s profile, which is my second filter after liking his pictures, I make sure he doesn’t have any social media/ contact information displayed in it. Why? Wouldn’t it just be easier to contact them directly via Snapchat or Whatsapp? Of course it would be easier, but that doesn’t mean it’d be better. I used to make the mistake of posting my Instagram and Snapchat handles in my profile, and in some occasions I did get directly contacted by some guys. The messages were actually very polite and no unsolicited dick pics were involved (thank goodness). Still, I’m not letting that information be public; if I consider someone deserving of it, then I’ll give it personally.

Displaying your social media information like that is in a way setting a trap and seeing who catches. You’re not making any effort, the people who see your profile are, and if that’s the case, then I don’t want to have any interaction with you. To me, it comes to this: if you share your Instagram, you only want to be seen (and you care way too much about your follower count even if you won’t admit it); if you share your Whatsapp, you just want to talk to literally anyone, and you don’t really care about making a connection; and finally, if you share your Snapchat, then you clearly just want to send dick pics to whomever is watching (and hoping they’ll return the favor).

If what you’re really after is finding people with whom you can make a particular connection, keep that information to yourself at first. In both of my noteworthy online dating experiences, I’ve been the one to tell the guy “hey, let’s move on to another platform.” With J, he actually had to download Whatsapp and I’m pretty sure I was his only contact, while with MHD I told him to follow me on Instagram and we used the messaging feature for a while, and then we moved on to Snapchat.

I think everybody’s “right time” can be different, especially given the conditions you’re in. If you’re meeting people in your area, it makes sense to move on to other platforms that same day because chances are you want to meet soon. In both of my cases, I had more time to decide whether I was interested in continuing the conversation elsewhere or not, so I took a week. Now, it’s not like I counted the days or anything, but that’s how long I’d been talking with each guy when I proposed the use of another app.

As I told you, both guys agreed immediately. MHD followed me on IG and texted me right away, even though for some reason I didn’t see his message until the following day. I don’t have a problem being the one who suggests using apps that I think are more personal than OK Cupid, but I’m not going to beg a guy to do so. I can make the suggestion, but I obviously expect a positive reply. If you’d prefer not to exchange numbers, use other apps that don’t require a phone number, but don’t give me the “I have no Facebook/ Instagram” excuse. This doesn’t guarantee that a guy is not a catfish, but I believe if he’s able to give you a solution like “I don’t have IG but we can talk via Facebook/ Snapchat,” then you can give him the chance. My brother doesn’t have an Instagram account, but he does have Snapchat and Facebook (and he’s clearly a real person), so I know the case is rare, but it happens.

Now, I think the magic of moving on to other platforms is making things more real. You’re just not two profiles, but you’re showing each other who you are outside of an online dating app, and that’s great. By being on Instagram, you’re able to see things in a person that they might not even know they’re showing: they love their pets, they spend a lot of time with family/ friends. Hell, you can even know that they still value a former relationship because there are posts of them and their ex they haven’t deleted. And it can also tell you things about yourself by looking at their profile: “look, he’s got a tattoo. That’s pretty hot,” or “oh, wait, are those his parents? What a sweet picture!”

I couldn’t have held the conversations I did with J or MHD had we stuck to OK Cupid, but I don’t think I would’ve trusted them as much had they suggested to switch to something else too soon. What do you think about this? What is your “right time” when it comes to giving someone you met online your number or social media handles? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila