Hello and happy Friday. It’s kind of odd that I’m writing this because just yesterday I deleted my Bumble, Tinder, and OKCupid accounts. Yes, I deleted them as in my profile no longer exists in any of those apps. I might or might not be explaining that in another post, but that would be months from now, so don’t hold your breath on that one. Anyway, now that I’ve said goodbye to those apps, I want to share some of my pet peeves when it comes to the world of online dating. Let’s get started, shall we?
1. “Just Ask”
I’ve said this before. I first look at pictures and if I’m interested I go for the profile. I always look at the profile, even if I’m just skimming through it. Obviously with Bumble and Tinder, the bio thing is different. On Tinder you’re supposed to write something very short but that grabs people’s attention and with Bumble you know get the chance to sort of complement your profile by answering questions, so basically they make the bio for you. If you signed up for OKCupid though and you’re not willing to at least put two coherent sentences together about who you are and what you’re looking for, boy bye.
2. Texts. Gets Reply. Doesn’t Text Back
So I’ve done experiments in which I reply to the most outrageous first messages and nine times out of ten the guy won’t keep the conversation going. Honestly in those cases I feel like they weren’t really prepared for a response, so they genuinely don’t know what to say next. The guys who say “hey” and expect an essay in return are just delusional. E-Harmony has a nice feature to avoid this to happen. You can pick from a set of questions to ask your match, which is a nice ice-breaker and a cool conversation starter. Also, if you feel like the conversation is dying, you can revive it with a question. But even if you don’t have E-Harmony, I think it would be cool to think of stuff to ask the other person, even if it can be a little random.
3. “What Are You Looking For?”
This is unacceptable in pretty much all online dating apps and I’ll tell you why. Bumble has a feature where you can actually select from a series of options whether you’re looking for something casual, marriage, or just friends. There is a “not sure” option, in which case I guess it would be fine if someone asked something along the lines of “hey, I saw that you’re not sure what you’re looking for, want to elaborate on that one?” or something of the sort. OKCupid and other more “serious” apps also straight up ask what you’re looking for and if you ask that question, chances are you didn’t read my profile. Now on Tinder it’s common that people are explicit in their bio about what they are and aren’t looking for. I personally didn’t include that information and still found that question annoying. I think that kind of question is not really a curious one, like you want to know we’re a good much. I feel that you’re rather looking for a way to tell me you don’t care what I want, you just want sex. You think I’m exaggerating? Okay, chances are you’re a man and you ask this question. Whenever I was asked this, I’d say I wanted a rich husband, and all men would reply with something sexual. Not nice, my friend. Better specify it in your bio and save us a little time.
If we’ve been talking for a while now, or you said you were going to be MIA for a while and now you’re back, then text me hey. If we’re strangers and you want to know whether we are compatible, please come up with something a little more creative. I don’t think I can remember any good conversation that started with hey. In my opinion, just try harder or don’t try at all.
5. Did You Even Read My Profile?
That’s not in quotations because this is not something I’ve been told but rather something I constantly think. Whenever “conservative” men would swipe right on me, men who explicitly said they “didn’t want any feminists” or fat girls, I would gag. How hard is it to just look at someone’s profile? Seriously dude. You’re wasting both of our times. We are not compatible and you could have known that already.
What’s one of your online dating pet peeves? Let me know in the comments below.
Love, Miss Camila