Hello and happy Saturday. I promised and I’m delivering. After I finished the last Weird Messages post (which is not going to be the last in existence, just the last I’ve put together), I decided it’d be fun to go ahead and reply to all the messages I got from strangers on OK Cupid. I thought “maybe sometimes I’m being too superficial. What if one of these guys I usually ignore is actually Prince Charming?” Well, I wasn’t too convinced about that second part, but I still thought if anything it would be a fun little experiment, and you know I’m all for that.
I know for a fact that there are people who reply to every message they get because they feel it’s the right thing to do or whatever. I don’t, especially not when I know the message is copy-paste, which means it’s basically a line somebody sends to all their possible matches in the hopes that someone will fall for it. For this “experiment,” I had to leave that aside and take every message as if it had been written specifically for me, they way I think first messages should always be.
Here’s a huge spoiler for you: no, I didn’t “meet” Prince Charming, or I don’t think I’ve met him yet. I did make a discovery, or rather confirmed a theory I’d had for a while. You see, a while ago I said that maybe some of the people who send this long messages that make little sense don’t actually expect or anticipate an answer, so when they get one, they literally don’t know what to say.
Over and over, I’d reply to messages that went from “hi,” to the standard scam: “hello, my name is _________ from ___________ and I want us to be friends,” and I think in 95% of the cases I didn’t get a response, or I got one and then the conversation just died. Now, I think I’m good at keeping a conversation going, but if I’m getting nothing from the other end, I’m not even going to try.
I stopped replying to every message, of course, because I really saw no point in it, and now I’m back to being super picky. I honestly feel that, like with everything in life, a little guidance in the online dating work can get people what they want (or whom they want), and I know I’m not an expert, but if you think you need any help, then check my posts (search for the “online dating” and “ok cupid” tags) and send me a message via the contact form .
In the comments below, tell me the kind of person you are when online dating: do you reply to every message just to be nice? Or are you selective like me?
Love, Miss Camila