Hello and happy Saturday. A while ago I told you about how dating advice has given me this cool insight that I will for sure apply once I’m ready to go back out there. I’ve also mentioned a piece of advice that I was able to apply in my final stages of whatever went down between MHD and me, which is all about time.
One thing I started to work on is my impatience. I wanted MHD to reply to my texts immediately, and I wanted him to text me every single day. If he didn’t, I’d freak out. A way in which I started working on it was this thing I’m calling the “48-Hour” Rule. I took this from Mark Rosenfeld, who is a great dating coach. In several of his videos, he goes on about taking time away, or giving the guy time when he’s not replying, and other pieces of advice related to time.
In one of his videos, Mark advises that if a guy is not replying to a text, you should give him from one to three days before writing him. Of course, this time is essentially given for him to reply to the text you sent, but if not, then you can send him a follow-up text. MHD worked every other day from noon to midnight, and when he didn’t work, he slept until noon, so giving him one day was like giving him nothing. Giving him three days, on the other hand, seemed like way too much for me to begin with, so I decided I’d give him two days.
In the final stages of our thing, whenever MHD wouldn’t reply to my texts, I’d give him 48 hours, hence the name of the rule. I did this about four times, which seems like a lot, but let’s remember, by then we were pretty much doomed. The first time I did it, I felt like quitting half an hour in. I would check Snapchat repeatedly, I would find any excuse to be on my phone, and I was just an anxious mess. What I discovered, though, was that I had given this guy so much of my time and my energy, that now that we weren’t texting each other, I had nothing to do.
I have a glass board in my room, so I wrote “Take Time Away” in big, cursive letters, and surrounded this message with a cloud. Whenever I felt like texting MHD, I’d look at my message. This quote, of course, is also something I took from one of Mark’s videos.
After surviving the first 48 hours, and successfully getting a response at my text, I discovered that the next times I applied the rule it was way easier for me. Again, by then I was already starting to suspect that this guy and I would very soon be over, so I guess that lowered my anxiety. Spending two days without texting him became something I could do more naturally, especially because I was taking time away for me, for the things I enjoyed doing.
I know that for some of you, it appears like I’m just applying common sense, you know? If I text a guy, then I’ll wait for him to text me back, and if he doesn’t, his loss. To me, though, understanding this and applying it has been a process. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it now: I need to be smarter when it comes to dating, and I’m sure that the “48-Hour” Rule will come in super handy.
Have you used this rule, or a version of it? How did it work? Tell me about it in the comments!
Love, Miss Camila