Hello, happy Monday and Merry Christmas for those of you who celebrate Christmas. I have a confession to make: I have a crush on someone. And yes, I know that based on the title of this post you might be thinking I met somebody online, but, no, I met this guy in person, the organic way. Because I feel kind of strongly for him already, I’ve decided to delete my dating apps and accounts, which I might regret in the future, but I feel like I don’t need at the moment. So, instead, I want to pass on the knowledge to you and hope it is helpful. Let’s get started, shall we?
1. Explore Your Options
You read the words “apps” and “accounts” correctly because I have used several (free) online dating services at the same time. The one I’d been subscribed to the longest was OkCupid, which I think is one of the most “traditional” online dating services there are. You fill out your profile, answer some questions, and then you are shown a series of profiles you might be interested in. Pretty basic, but also pretty straightforward. I also used Tinder, although I should clarify that I was more active on it while I was traveling because I was looking to meet foreigners or guys who were on vacation like I was.
I briefly used two other services, one is called Seeking Arrangement and is basically for people looking for sugar daddies or sugar babies. What can I say? I wanted to explore that possibility for a while. On that same line, I found Miss Travel, which is a travel dating site. I deleted both accounts on these sites after a few weeks of being a member.
The reason I’m telling you about the different sites there are is so you know which is better suited for you or the type of relationship you want. In my opinion, the most complete is OkCupid, but it is for people seeking a somewhat serious relationship, be it online or in person.
2. Be Honest
Be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for. It’s tough to write a profile, I get it, and we tend to enhance some truths at times, make ourselves seem nicer, but at times that doesn’t get the attention we want. I’m open about having a blog, and being a teacher. I’m open about having tattoos and being obsessed with makeup, and in that sense I steer clear from guys who prefer “natural-looking” girls or who think tattoos are ugly.
3. Be Rude if Needed
Don’t engage in conversations you don’t want to have. If somebody is talking to you and you don’t want them to, or if you simply get bored talking to someone, then delete the conversations. Block out profiles if needed. This is the magic of online dating: you don’t know the person and they don’t know you. I have erased all traces of people in my life simply by hitting the “delete” and “block” buttons. If you’re having doubts about talking to someone, then sweetie, that someone is not the love of your life.
4. Be Bold if Needed
Okay, suppose you’re looking through profiles and see one you like. First and foremost, read through their profile and make sure it looks legit (I’ll expand on that one later). If you like what you read and like the pictures you see, don’t wait around for them to talk to you because you could be left waiting for a long time. The magic of online dating is the fact that you can be flirty, even if in person you’re an awkward mess.
Take it from me, I was horrible at flirting in person, but as I started talking more and more to guys online, I got confident, and it even helped me handle situations in real life. Flirting can be fun (I actually enjoy flirting a lot nowadays), and it can come off more easily to some people than it does to others, but like everything in life, you can get better with practice. And, what a better way to practice than with people you don’t know and will probably never see in your life? The worst that can happen in that case is not getting a reply whatsoever.
5. Become a Super Spy
Learn to identify catfish (fake profiles). Read through a profile a couple of times. Make sure it sounds legit. Check a person’s profile picture and check that they look the age they say they are. Then look through all of their pictures and be sure that it’s the same person in all of them. They should have more than one picture, and at least one of just themselves. If they only have group pictures, it’s unclear who the person behind the profile is.
I say become a super spy because you have to look for tiny clues that let you know a profile is fake. This might be extreme, and might be more applicable to some online dating sites than others, but my advice would be to think every profile is fake until you’re proven wrong. How can you be proven wrong? If the person you’re talking to suggests or agrees to talk on other platforms, preferably if they agree to Skype or FaceTime (that way you see their face before meeting in person). If they give you their number to talk via Whatsapp, add them and make sure they are the same person in their picture on both profiles. Look at their phone number and check that the area code is from the place they stated they were from. If they pass those tests, you can talk to them.
As a person who talked via Whatsapp (texts, voice notes, and calls) and Skype with a guy for a while, I can tell you doing all these things was a way for me to know that I was indeed talking to a real person, and the reasons why I stopped talking to him had nothing to do with our communication.
Here they are, my five pieces of advice when going into the world of online dating. I had fun, and am open to give it a try again in the future. If there’s some more advice you’d like to share, feel free to do so in the comments!
Love, Miss Camila