Hello and happy Friday. I’ll give you thirty seconds to go pee, get a drink and some chips and then come back because I’m here to tell you a juicy story. Are you ready? Alright, let me tell you about this particular experience of mine with OK Cupid, which led be to almost get engaged.
It all began last year, I want to say in March but I can’t remember. I was on OK Cupid, probably after watching Scandal and getting that urge of having a boyfriend, and I remember coming across this guy’s profile. He only had one picture but he looked nice in his picture, so I clicked his profile and read through it and decided to “like” the guy. Now, I’ve tried to think about his username but I totally forgot it.
A week or so after that, this guy sends me a message along the lines of “it’s too bad that we live so far away from each other, by the way my name is J,” and that made me want to talk to him SO BADLY. So I guess it was that day when we started talking via OK Cupid, but timing was an issue because he lived in the UK so he was six hours ahead of me, and that just sort of sucked for me because I wanted to keep talking to this guy and he had to sleep.
We then moved on to texting via whatsapp and started sending each other voice notes. I’m very picky about a guy’s voice, and J’s wasn’t the kind of voice that attracted me particularly, but it wasn’t like a squeaky voice or anything like that. Why am I telling you this, you might ask, and the answer is that by that point I had sort of resigned to the fact that 1. I didn’t feel that attracted to J physically and 2. I didn’t really care for his voice. And I know maybe I sound shallow, but these two things matter to me, especially when I’m not in front of a person because I need physicality and if I can’t have it, then I need to know that once I see the guy in person he’ll be just what I expect.
J wasn’t just what I expected, and I know it now, but then I got carried away by his amazing ability to make conversation and by the way in which he went along with the crazy things I said and planned. I know he probably did fall for me because of the things he told me, and the thing is, I kept talking to him because I enjoyed being the recipient of those compliments and sweet nothings. I’d never had a boyfriend, and honestly up to this day I haven’t, so when I started getting those nice comments from him, that were deeper than the “hey cutie” I usually get, I was excited and I got giddy.
I may sound cruel and immature at times, and maybe I was both of those things, but that’s why I think people should be more careful when getting into online relationships. While J was apparently super serious about me and the “relationship” we had, I just got carried away and in my mind kept thinking “yay, I found this guy who will assure that I’m not going to end up a spinster with 7 cats.”
He said he didn’t want to come to Colombia for security reasons but also insisted on me going to visit him, said he’d get me the tickets. I’m not dumb, and even if this guy had proven to me that he was real and totally not catfishing me, I didn’t even consider his offer. We Skyped once and talked on the phone three times, and kept sending each other voice notes and stuff.
J kept telling me how he’d told his friends and family about me, and I guess I was so pressured that I ended up telling my best friends and my sister about him. That’s what I regret the most, I think, but it’s what, at the same time, made me stop and question what I was doing, which had been going on for two months or so. By then, I was also not-so-innocently flirting with a guy at work, and that also got me questioning why I had to be “tied” to this guy I didn’t even know and who lived in the UK, when I spent literally every single day with this other dude who I had a crush on and seemed to feel the same way towards me.
Time kept passing by, though, and I told J, maybe out of boredom, maybe to test him and his “love” for me, that he should buy me a ring and send it my way. He’d already gone to Holland for work and bought be this keychain he sent to my P.O box (I didn’t keep it, I gave it to my best friend, though it was pretty darn cute). It was from that moment on, from the moment when we had our ring conversation, when J started telling me he loved me, and the worst part is that he pushed me to say it too. What he didn’t know was that a) I didn’t love him, and b) I don’t throw those three words around that easily, like I don’t even tell my family members I love them, let alone this guy I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW.
One day I just sort of had it with J and decided not to waste our time anymore, so I told him I didn’t want to talk to him for a while. Of course, “a while” meant forever, but I don’t know when he got that message. I blocked him from whatsapp, Facebook (even though we weren’t friends), Skype, and Instagram, and I deleted my OK Cupid account. I did, after a few months open a new one with a different username, and to me it’s like J just vanished from my life, not that I miss anything from him.
So yeah, now you know this story about me, which some people close to me knew only bits of. Have you had a similar experience? Tell me about it!
Love, Miss Camila