Hello and happy Saturday. I often ask myself the question “am I a horrible teacher?”, and it’s not because I don’t enjoy what I do; I love teaching and couldn’t see myself doing anything else, at least not for the rest of my life, but whenever I have a student-free day I just feel pure and utter relief.
Take the other day we were given to finish recording grades and writing down our observations. Only the teachers went to school, and I was the happiest I’d been in a while. I seriously needed that time off, away from the yelling and the whining, away from little noses full of boogers, and untied shoes. It’s in those alone days when I really reflect upon what I’m currently doing and I realize that even though I’m having a lot of fun being a preschool teacher, that’s not what I want I want to do for the rest of my life.It’s in those days when I miss teaching elementary, and I begin to wonder what it would be like to venture into fourth grade, for example.
This was the third day I’ve had throughout the year to do this, but I feel that it was the first time when I wasn’t focused at all. And I mean, having a computer with Internet access can be the death of all your productivity. I kept looking at my emails, searching for other job options (you know, totally unrealistic ones, like those people who travel the world leading groups of tourists), all but did what I was supposed to. Long story short with all that, I finished posting my observations two days later, and I felt no guilt about it.
What’s the point of this post? you might be asking. Well, I guess it’s me trying to make sense and put into words something I’ve been feeling for a while, and in doing so, I’d like to think that I’m not the only one. Basically, I’ve come to realize that I’m one of those people who don’t spend many years in the same job, not because they’re bad at it, but because they get easily bored and need to be moving constantly.
In my last job, I craved some stability. I hated the fact that my bosses kept changing the rules of the game halfway through and the teachers just had to conform with that, but now that I’ve come to the most stable workplace one could find, I’m getting bored. I think it’s hard for someone who is used to being proactive and resourceful to come to a place where everything has already been done and thought of. Sometimes I feel like I can’t use that creativity that characterizes me as a teacher.
I’m working on dealing with those feelings, and I guess step one was sharing them with you, so if you have any piece of advice, I could use it. Is there a way to cope with that boredom? Am I wrong to be thinking about changing jobs after just one year?
Love, Miss Camila