Post-Valentine Glam

Hello and happy Monday. Yes, last week was Valentine’s Day and I didn’t post a Valentine’s Day look because I honestly didn’t feel like it, and I’m not even sorry. Today’s look might work for the week after, when you still want to wear all the cheesy colors without being overly cheesy. You can switch to a true red if you want to, I just thought I’d look cuter with this orange-based lippie. Here are the steps on how to achieve this look:

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Primer
  2. Concealer
  3. Foundation
  4. Eyebrows
  5. Matte brown (eyelid base)
  6. Gold (eyelid)
  7. Dark brown (crease)
  8. Matte brown (lower lash line)
  9. Mascara
  10. Bronzer
  11. Blush
  12. Matte liquid lipstick

What did you do for Valentine’s Day this year? Let me know in the comments.

Happy Monday!

Love, Miss Camila

Love Life Update

 

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We interrupt your regular blogging schedule to bring you this because I’m desperate and I’ve felt like a liar for a while now and it doesn’t seem right. You haven’t noticed this because I schedule my posts way in advance, but for almost a month I haven’t sat down and written something, and that’s because I’ve been really sad, or rather, heartbroken. You see, three months ago today I matched with this guy on E-Harmony and back then I didn’t know he would become such an important part of my life. I sent him an ice breaker, which is just a question you can pick from a list. He answered it and we went back and forth for a while. I was going through a hard time regarding my mental health and honestly that time of the day when I got an email saying that he’d replied or sent me a message was a highlight for me.

While we were talking via E-Harmony, I was super careful with what I was telling him because I wanted him to like me and to think the best of me, you know? I was crushing hard on him, and I knew that he was different from all the other men with whom I’d gotten in contact in the recent past. I felt that what we were building was pure and good and I wanted it to last. Man, I was falling for him even if I was having a hard time realizing it. I think the moment that did it was when I asked him about his favorite indoor activity. It was sort of a test, if I’m being honest. Basically, if he replied that sex was his favorite indoor activity, I would unmatch him. He said reading and Netflix were his top activities and I was equally relieved and stoked at having such an amazing person in my life.

I don’t want to reveal too much about him, but I’ll tell you that his name is Sam. I’ll also tell you that he once said that he never wanted me to write a post about him. He said this after reading one of my fail stories or online dating updates. And of course, I would’ve never wanted to be writing this kind of post about him. I wanted to feature him in here a lot, starting with a “Meet My Boyfriend” post after we met in person, and all sorts of cute things about us. Instead, I’m writing this and it sucks and I didn’t want you to find out about Sam like this, but then again, I can’t pretend like he never existed.

A few weeks after talking to Sam, I got let go from my job, which wasn’t a surprise, but it wasn’t a good thing either. We kept talking via E-Harmony, and I kept waiting for him to ask for my number or something, but he didn’t, so I took the initiative. I asked whether he had Instagram, and he said no, so I told him to download Whatsapp and that became our main source of communication.

Now, let me tell you, going from writing one message a day to being able to text constantly meant a huge change in our dynamic. We bickered like old people throughout the entire first two days, and I mean we had little fights about absolutely everything. Still, I don’t know how we managed to keep the conversation going. Talking to Sam made me realize how messed up my whole “game” was. I would be manipulative and I would test him because I was used to doing that to other guys. And I realized I didn’t want to be that person to him. I wanted to be nice because he deserved that.

Sam lives in the States and I live in Colombia, and right when we started talking on Whatsapp, we began making plans about meeting in person. It was November, so thinking about me traveling to the States in April was a bit crazy. Now it’s February what’s crazy is the fact that the trip might not happen. I mean, I was supposed to buy the tickets on the 4th and I didn’t, so right now I don’t know how things are going to unfold in the months to come.

We made plans about where we would live and the amount of kids we’d have. He even enrolled in university to become a teacher. I hope he goes; classes start in March, but now after this I don’t know whether he deems it necessary. Maybe he was doing it all to please me and not because it was what made him happy. I hope that’s not the case.

I was able to find another job pretty soon after being let go, so technically I was never unemployed. The day my contract with one school ended, I went and signed my contract with another school. We talked for the entirety of my vacation, so from December 7th to January 17th. Now I understand that our relationship was being built upon a scenario that wasn’t real life. I mean, I was on vacation, so I was always available, but the reality was that I would go to work and be busy for most of the day. I don’t know whether the change in my schedule was the deal breaker for Sam. I don’t know what it was even though for weeks I’ve been trying to figure it out.

Sam gave me his address and I would send stuff to his place. I bought him notebooks, and post-it notes, and pens, and even a pen holder so that he would be ready for school. I bought some books to start filling up my shelves in the place that I would call my home. I mistakenly sent some makeup over to his place, and told him to give it away to his mom and sister because it would probably go bad before I was going to be able to use it.

We broke up once, and it was my fault. I was having doubts about whether I liked him for real or not, and so I dared him to block me on Whatsapp. He did and I realized he had after trying to text him for an entire day and only getting one checkmark. You see, on Whatsapp one checkmark means that the message has been sent but that the other person hasn’t gotten it. This might happen because the recipient is in a place with bad reception, or because their phone is off, but it also might happen because they’ve blocked your number or deleted Whatsapp altogether. Remember one post about my exchange that I started by saying I was pretty sure I’d been ghosted? Well, I was talking about Sam, but notice that I didn’t reveal any details about his identity because I was waiting for the right moment to do it.

I was absolutely miserable after realizing that Sam and I were potentially over. I blocked him on E-Harmony and I went a bit crazy looking for singles retreats now that I had “regained my freedom.” Then, like the emotionally unstable person that I’ve always been, I broke down and cried several times because the only thing I wanted in my life was to talk to Sam and be with Sam and I’d ruined it by being insecure. So I wrote him an email, my last resort, and I waited. My plan was to actually write him every day or so until he contacted me back. There was no need, though, because that night I put my phone on airplane mode and slept with my mom (that helps me when I’m feeling sad), and the next morning I woke up to a text in which he said he’d read my email and he missed me and he wanted us to start over.

Those two months after that were pretty awesome, well, not the entire two months, but the month and a half or so. What I mean is, the rest of our relationship after making up. I felt like I’d overcome a barrier within me, that I had given myself the chance to be vulnerable with someone and that I’d been able to silence all the voices in my head that told me I was pretty much inadequate and undeserving of love.

Sam sent me his last text on Sunday, January 20th. We were having what I thought was a pretty mundane conversation because I told him that we should go to an amusement park when I went to visit, and that we should have biscuit and donuts. He replied that there was a decent park he could take me to and then asked “biscuit?” I don’t know if it was my raunchy reply what made him stop texting me altogether or what, because I told him that biscuit could be a pre-sex snack, then we could have sex, eat Taco Bell, then watch a movie, eat popcorn and M&M’s and then have some sex. And that was the last I knew from Sam.

He had a weird schedule, so I wasn’t worried when he didn’t reply on Monday, but then when I got nothing that night or the morning after, my mind started going a bit crazy. Since after our big fight, not a day went by without us talking, so I thought maybe he got home after work and was too tired, and then he woke up the following day super late and I was already at work. I don’t know, I just tried to make sense of the fact that he’d never taken that long to text me back. Because he had a weird schedule, I never knew way in advance when he’d have to work or not, so I didn’t know whether he wasn’t replying because he was busy or because he was sleeping or what. That “or what” was what worried me the most.

The texts that I started sending on Tuesday were all along the lines of “hey,” “I miss you,” “are you there?” and then they changed to “Sam, I’m worried,” and “what’s going on? Please talk to me,” until on Wednesday I got only one checkmark, meaning that he’d either blocked me or deleted Whatsapp.

Now, this wasn’t like the previous time because it had been three days, so I knew it was way more serious than our first breakup. I thought that if an email had fixed things in the past, it could fix them then. I wrote to him on Wednesday and got no reply. I wrote to him on Friday and nothing. I think I wrote him another email on Saturday and, you guessed it, nothing. I’ve lost count of the amount of emails I’ve sent, and I worry that nothing will make him come back to my life.

This isn’t how it was supposed to be, you know? He was this unexpected blessing in my life, he was my rose-tinted glasses and I felt that because of him I was at the best moment of my life. I’d recently landed an amazing job, and I was with a man who cared for me for who I was, and what’s most important: I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I still can because I still refuse to believe it’s over.

Sam used to read my blog, although I doubt that he does now. I’ll send him this link in the hopes that he’ll click it. This is not just a crush. This is not just me being desperate for a guy who doesn’t like me back. This is me fighting for something I’d never felt before. This is me not giving up on the thing and the person that’s brought me the most happiness I’ve felt. This is me saying that if I’m not with you, Sam, I don’t think marriage and kids are for me. This is me saying that I don’t want to get over you even though I know I can, and even though I will if that’s what you’ll ultimately want.

So, there you have it, my first true heartbreak. Hopefully the last because this is seriously exhausting.

My Updated Skin Care Routine

Hello and happy Sunday. I’m constantly trying new products I get in subscription boxes, which is why it seems like I don’t have a steady skin care routine. However, for the past few weeks, I have been very consistent in my routine and haven’t introduced any new products. Before that changes, I wanted to show you what I use. Let’s get started, shall we?

My pre-makeup morning routine consists of two steps: washing my face and then applying moisturizer. I feel that washing my face prepares my skin for the day, but it also helps remove any leftover makeup from the day before, or residue from the environment. For this, I use the Pore-Fectly Clear Charcoal Face Wash from Good Things. I got it at Marshall’s, so I’m pretty sure it was around the $8 mark.

After I shower, I like to apply moisturizer, again to serve a double purpose. One, is to nourish and protect my skin from makeup, or even just environmental pollution. The other reason is that I want it to by hydrated all the time, and I feel that my skin tends to get too dry if I only wash it and don’t add any moisturizer afterwards. It also gives my face that healthy vibe that helps makeup look 100 times better. My moisturizer is also from Marshall’s, and it must have cost around $7. It’s the Almond Blossom Light-Weight Face Lotion and I’m just head over heels in love with it.

I went back to removing my makeup with wipes because they just make life easier for me. I got a two-pack for $1.75 at Primark while I was in Spain, and I honestly would have gotten more.

After that, I apply my precious L’Oreal Revita-Lift Volume Filler night cream and I’m ready to go to bed. I honestly love this cream because I think it helps my skin be all nourished and healthy and plump. Even when I wake up, I still feel the goodness. I paid like $8 for this at Marshall’s.

 

 

 

This is what I put on my body at night because the rest of my skin needs to be soft and hydrated. This is the L’Occitane Rich Lotion, and I think this is the OG body cream. I got it in Spain for $29.

In the comments below tell me about your skin care routine.

Happy Sunday!

Love, Miss Camila

 

 

 

H&M Spain Haul

Hello and happy Saturday. I don’t know if my title makes any sense, but what I meant was that the clothes I’m going to show you are from an H&M store in Spain, which I think is where the brand’s from originally. The prices were very similar to American or Colombian prices, which is okay, considering I wasn’t planning on doing much shopping on this trip (yeah right). Before we get into the clothes, I want to clarify that I’m converting all the prices to US Dollars, so it’s easier for everyone to do the math. Also the vibe you’re going to see is more like summer business casual, so it’s a little more grownup that what I’d normally reach for. Let’s get started, shall we?

I haven’t gotten the chance to wear these pants yet, but when I saw them I just knew they had to be mine. I think they’re perfect for work stuff during the summer, or just in a weather that’s kind of warm, but not full on hot. These pants were $11.69.

 

 

 

 

 

Now, judging by my previous hauls you know that I’m into the full-length vibe. I’m into jumpsuits, and maxi skirts and dresses, but oddly enough I didn’t own a black maxi dress. This one was a little up there in price, considering that I’m usually extremely cheap; I paid $23.39 for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These shoes were definitely an impulse buy. I paid $4.67 for them, and I just knew that I wasn’t going to get a better deal for a pair like these. I think shoes like these are appropriate for every season and weather. They’re super casual, so I’d obviously save them for the weekends.

 

 

 

I actually bought two dresses in this same style, but the other one is in the washer. I love the t-shirt-like top, and I love how flowy it is. This dress would go perfectly with the shoes I showed before, but you can also dress it up and make it a little more work-appropriate, which is what I love about it. I got this for $11.69.

 

 

 

 

 

See, I told you I was super into the maxi-skirt vibe. I already wore this beauty and I can tell you that it’s the most comfortable thing you’ll get to wear, especially if you have to work on a summer day. It has slits on the sides, but it also has inner lining, so you won’t be showing anything improper. This skirt was $11.69 as well.

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, I’m wearing these flats with jeans and a cute top. Now picture them with a summer dress. I know white shoes are not everyone’s favorite, and I know the aren’t mine, but something about the detailing of these beauties just made me buy them. I also love the fact that they’re ver

satile. I got these for $7.01.

 

 

 

 

In the past I’ve had two other dresses that look just like this one, and for some reason, I just keep buying new versions of the same thing. This shade of gray is gorgeous and it goes with just about everything, and also the style of this dress is just 100% me. I got it for $8.18.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s odd that this dress has the same style as the previous one, but the dark blue color and the print make it look way classier, don’t you think? The fabric also looks fancier and pricier. I paid $9.35 for this cutie.

 

 

 

 

 

This is a full-on mumu and I’m living for it. I can’t wait to wear it with black tights and for once feel like a real adult. The fabric is thin and flowy, so I would wear it with something on top. I paid $9.35 for this dress.

That’s the end of our Spanish H&M haul. In the comments below, tell me which item of clothing you liked the most.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

I Was So Catfished

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Hello and happy Thursday. This is awkward. This falls into the category of things I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone but you, so if you personally know me and you’re reading this, please don’t be mad at me for not telling you. This is a part of my life that is still too recent, but that I feel I have to talk about.

Last week I shared how I’d been in this self-destructive path for a while and I didn’t realize it until I stopped. I was sad, I was lonely and I needed to feel validated in the wrong way. I told you how one day I decided to stop and I deleted online dating apps as well as Snapchat, but it wasn’t something sudden that came to me and made me change my mind. I mean, it sort of was, but it wasn’t a thought that came from me. You see, the day I made the most radical changes in my lifestyle I’d gotten catfished.

I had already been losing interest on OkCupid and it was harder for me to see the point in what I’d been doing up until then. I decided to give those apps one last chance, so I reset my location on OKC to the city where I live, and because I had paid the A-list, I could see who liked me.

There was this guy’s profile I’d already seen from way before, but he just seemed too good to be true, so I kept ignoring it. Well, this time he was the one who liked me and because I was bored, I liked him back. This was a Friday afternoon and because I’m such a cool kid I was in German class. He said he was from Israel and would be in the city for a week longer. He obviously suggested me to go to his hotel, which I told him wasn’t an option.

The thing with certain people our parents warn us about online is that they have a way of getting to you. He was charming, okay? And he told me that if I couldn’t on Friday, then maybe we could meet another day, and to me it was like I couldn’t see all the red flags anymore, like the alarms didn’t sound in my head. I thought what many people who get catfished think, “this guy obviously is for real. I mean, how couldn’t he be?”

I told him I could go to his hotel on Monday at around noon, but we still talked during the weekend. It was all fine, and I was excited to meet this handsome foreigner. I went to work that Monday even though I didn’t really have to go, and I fixed the last of my stuff. I would only have to go back there on Friday to sign a paper. I was still talking to him while at work and I asked him for his hotel’s address. I told him I’d be there soon.

One of the things that upsets me the most, thinking back, is how much I paid for the Uber ride to get to that hotel. I literally spent like two hours going from the school to where this guy told me he was staying. I even asked him what shirt he was wearing so I could identify him quickly. Well, when I was ten minutes away from the hotel, this man stopped replying to my messages.

I got to the place and I was shaking. I really wanted this to work out. Honestly, at that point I still hoped he’d show up and be all charming with his black shirt. So I waited, and each time someone left the hotel I could feel my heart skip a beat because I thought it would be him. I waited and I tried to get a hold of him via OKC and Instagram, and he didn’t read the messages. I video called him, I tried everything I could with the limited information I got from him, while the doorman at the hotel looked at me like I was planning to rob the place or something.

After an hour, when I realized this was all a setup and someone somewhere was watching me and laughing at me, I left. While on the bus I unmatched the guy and unfollowed him on Instagram. I should’ve blocked him, but a dumb part of my brain still thought he had a great excuse for what had happened.

As if that wasn’t enough, one of my Snapchat guys, one who I thought was super loyal because he said he wanted a relationship with me, blocked me on SC and then when I asked him on Instagram what that was about, said that we were done. I was so mad and so lost that I cried. For a minute, I even thought that maybe the Snapchat guy had created the fake OKC account to make me suffer or something, but I dismissed it. These were two different people that saw through how pathetic I was being.

That day, when I realized the danger I had put myself into earlier by going to meet someone I had no idea about, after being rejected by a guy whom I treated badly ever since we started talking, I just felt like such a horrible person. I felt that this wasn’t about changing the security settings in my online dating apps or being more careful, it was about being done with that, with the destructive patterns I was following.

Have you ever been catfished or lied to by someone online? Care to share about it in the comments below?

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila

Easy Audiobook Review

 

Hello and happy Wednesday. Now that I spend more time on a bus than I actually do at home, I have to be resourceful and listen to my books instead of reading them. My latest audiobook accomplishment was Easy by Tammara Webber.

I think you, my dear readers will enjoy this book because the main character is actually in university, and not in high school like most of the YA books I read and review in here.

Now, keep in mind, and I’m saying it from the beginning so that you can decide to skip this post altogether, that there are very detailed descriptions of attempted rape, and the subject of rape is present in this novel. If this is a subject you’re sensitive to, then avoid this book.

If you’ve decided to keep reading, please denounce your aggressor to the authorities if someone tries to hurt you, even if this happens at a party and calling the police means “ruining” it. If you read the book, you’ll know why I’m putting this out there.

This story starts with a very typical scene: damsel in distress and mysterious stranger who saves her. I won’t lie, I live for those scenes. What I didn’t like were the victim-blaming hints the mysterious savior was throwing at the main character. Dear stranger, being alone doesn’t give anyone a reason to take advantage of another person.

There are flashbacks and flash forwards, which you know I always appreciate. I don’t appreciate, though, that the main character is kind of immature, and I’d say a bit self-centered too. Yes, honey, your boyfriend broke up with you, but at least he was honest about the reasons why he wanted to break up. Shouldn’t he get a little credit for that?

This reminds me a bit of Flat-Out-Love because we have kind of an online/offline situation. Jackie, our main character, exchanges emails with Landon, who’s a class monitor or whatever they call it in the States, but she also has this thing that’s just beginning with Lucas, our mysterious savior.

It also remind me, in a not so good way, of all the dating advice I heard from Matthew Hussey a few months ago each time Erin talked to Jackie about guys. I accidentally sort of spoiled the ending for myself, but don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you. What I’m going to spoil though, is the fact that there was a breath Jackie didn’t realize she was holding. Because how smart do you even need to be in order to breathe, right?

Let’s talk about spoilers. Don’t tell me exactly how, but tell me about the last show or book someone spoiled for you.

Happy reading!

Love, Miss Camila

Summer Vibes

Hello and happy Monday. Yes, I have a summer look for you today because there are places in the world where the weather is nice and warm, like Brazil, or Argentina, and I would very much like to be there right now. For me, summer equals a bronzed, glowy skin, very soft and simple eye makeup, and glossy lips. Today’s look will definitely give you that warm summer vibe. Here’s how I achieved it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Primer
  2. Concealer
  3. Foundation
  4. Eyebrows
  5. Beige (eyelid base)
  6. Brown (top and bottom lash line)
  7. Copper (outer corner)
  8. Brown eyeliner (tightline)
  9. Mascara
  10. Bronzer
  11. Gold blush
  12. Orange lip gloss
  13. Dewy setting spray

What’s the weather like where you’re at? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Monday!

Love, Miss Camila

Empties #7

Hello and happy Sunday. I know before my trip to Baltimore I got rid of a lot of stuff because I wanted to take the least amount of sh*t with me, and so you’re probably already seeing a lot of unhauls, but this is not an unhaul, this is something we do kinda frequently around this blog. This is the space where I can virtually dump all empties and tell you about them. I know you were waiting for this moment. Let’s get started, shall we?

 

 

 

Benefit They’re Real Mini

Can we stop and appreciate the fact that a mini version of this mascara is actually sold? That means that yes, I might buy it sometime in the future. I got this in a Colombian subscription box and I was head over heels in love. But, as we all know, mascaras don’t really run out, they just get dry and you have to throw them away. If you buy this mascara, make sure to get two: keep one and send the other one my way.

The Falsies Push Up Angel Mascara 

This one is like the original Falsies mascara, which is everyone’s ride or die, but on steroids. I don’t know, there’s just something about a mascara that can make my eyelashes look longer and thicker at the same time that I absolutely adore. This one is more of an everyday makeup for me because you know that I tend to be dramatic when it comes to my (almost nonexistent) eyelashes. Will I buy it again? Sure, if not now, then sometime in the future.

the Balm Mad Lash Mascara 

Apparently, it was throwaway mascara season in my house. This one is in my opinion the more expensive version of the Falsies mascara I previously talked about. It does the whole lift and separate thing, while adding thickness and length to the lashes. I got this in an Ipsy glam bag so be sure to check out the Sample vs. Full Size series to get some more insight related to this product’s price and whether I’d buy it or not.

FACE STUFF

I’m just going to put the next three products into this one category because 1. I’ll be expanding on two of those in my Sample vs. Full Size series, 2. One of the products doesn’t actually have a brand and 3. I really want to get this post done and adding links annoys me. I have a foam face wash that smells like a dream and is from a K-beauty brand. Then we have this refreshing gel I used as a moisturizer (I think) or at nights (?). I didn’t notice any changes to my skin when I used it other than the immediate cooling sensation. Finally we have a serum I got at Marshall’s. This is the one that doesn’t have a brand. I used it as a moisturizer and really liked it, but the drop applicator thingy made it really hard to grab product at the end.

Halo Beauty

By now you must have read all the posts I did on this product, so I’m not going to repeat myself. I’ll just say Halo Beauty didn’t do it for me, and I’m glad it’s long gone. Also, I think I might buy Sugar Bear Hair because I need some help and I can count on those gummies.

In the comments below let me know about your recent empties and whether there’s something worth recommending.

Happy Sunday!

Love, Miss Camila

Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told on OkCupid Part 3.2

 

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Hello and happy Saturday. Today I have some more messages a few OkCupid users sent me. We’re actually only going to do three messages today, but I’m sure you’ll find them very entertaining. Let’s get started, shall we?

 

Ne’er: “I have been seeing from last few days. My friends make my fun about seeing you on online dating app. I say to them that I am into dilemma. Lol your eyes really make me cold feet. I want to talk to you but then again I feel that girl like you who received lot of messages from handsome guys, don’t want to talk to me. Really your picture make me happy and as well as nervous. My good friend is told me that just message you and tell you about everything. He said that if she like honesty and we are having long distance and which can doubt that serious things. But it would be great if we can be good friends.”

There is enough in this message to write an entire post on how NOT to write a first text, but I’ll try to be super concrete and brief. First of all, there’s the issue of his English. You know I sort of insisted on this during the first Weird Messages post: I get that English is not your first language, it isn’t mine either, we’re bound to make mistakes, but make sure to proofread your texts, and make sure they’re coherent and the person reading them will know what you mean. More often than not, I’ll swipe left on profiles with bad grammar because they seem like bots rather than an actual person.

The content of the message itself is just a big mess. This guy is neither here nor there, saying one thing and then totally contradicting himself in the next line. An example of this is the whole “my friends are making fun of me” but then he says his friend encouraged him to write the message. Which is it, dude? Apart from that, the whole fetching for pity thing and turning it to the girl, like guilt-tripping the girl because “sure if you’re a nice girl, you’ll reply to this text” is just a tacky strategy to have girls talk to you.

Now, I did all this dissection, and then for personal reasons, which I’ll explain some other time, I decided to delete my OkCupid account. I created a new one literally the day after that, so don’t worry children, mom’s back. Anyway, like the day after I created the new account this guy sends me this exact same message. And boy was I upset. Now, I usually just swipe left on copy-paste messages, right? But whenever I get two copy-paste messages from the same guy, and it’s happened like twice, I will say something because it’s enraging that I’m here wasting my time and effort in finding someone decent and a clever message to type, and then this guy just clicks “paste” and sends the same dumb sh*t to everyone. So I replied the following:

Dude, you literally sent me this exact message last week. Stop copy-pasting stuff and try to come up with your own original message for once. Maybe that way you can have a chance to actually meet a nice girl. 

I waited for the guy to read the message and then I blocked him.

smile: “You dont look 24 at all :)”

I don’t know why guys use stuff like age and body type as a compliment. I don’t mean this in a “women get upset when men talk about their age or body type” kinda way, but in a more “what are men trying to get at with this comments?” way. Like, I don’t know if this guy (who didn’t even display his first name) means that I look older or younger. I’ve been told both and I seriously couldn’t give any less sh*ts. I’m 24, even if you tell me I don’t look my age, and I don’t know how that can turn into a topic of conversation with a complete stranger. I always wonder what the reasoning behind these messages is.

Sean: “Hi how are you? Youre really cool i wanna talk to you? By the way are you in colombia temperary also? I have family here im on vacation. Also i love tattoos also. I love tattooed women :p”

Remember in The Office when Holly thought Kevin had cognitive disabilities? I kinda felt that way rereading this message and typing it for you guys. Like, what if this guy has some sort of condition and that’s why his message was all over? I feel cruel for even thinking that, but just look at the way it’s written. Then there’s the “I love tattooed women” part, which is a bit suggestive so I’m basically clueless as to how to take this message.

This concludes part 3 of the Weird Stuff I’ve Been Told on OkCupid series. I’m going to change things up and reply to every message I get sent, and of course document the experience and share it with you. In the comments, tell me what you think about copy-paste messages.

Happy Saturday!

Love, Miss Camila

I Needed a Break

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Hello and happy Thursday. No, this is not the post in which I tell you I’m taking a break from blogging. I’m actually trying to schedule as many posts as I can right now while I’m on vacation because as soon as things go back to normal with work, I’ll probably only have the weekends.

Last week I told you how on Thursdays I feel like I can be my real self. I don’t have to pretend like I’m put together, like I do when I’m working. I don’t have to hide anything because yes, I am a teacher, but I am more than that and I’ve been struggling. After over four months of therapy I feel that I’m starting to see things “from the other side,” and though that makes me happy, it also makes me want to reflect on what these times of struggle have meant for me.

After coming back from the States I felt defeated for many reasons, but I especially felt that I’d wasted five months of my life. You see, from March to August I was unemployed because I quit my job to be able to travel, do the online courses and the exams required for the program I was supposed to join, and then obviously I was going to leave. Well, I did leave, but I didn’t stay long. I was desperate for a job, and I took the first thing that I felt would give me back my stability.

I was back to working Monday through Friday alright, and I was getting a good salary for it, but that was just external stuff. Inside, I was a mess. I did this post a few weeks or months ago of the guys I’d been talking to online. And I thought that was sort of a reason to be proud. I didn’t want to sit down and explore why I was doing that.

There are things within ourselves that start cooking slowly, and then at a given moment, they just pop up, a realization, a moment of enlightenment. “My guys” started losing interest in me, and I lost interest in them as well. I knew they didn’t like me for me, and I didn’t like them that way either because I’d seen the kind of people they were.

I deleted Snapchat, Tinder, Bumble, and OKCupid. Some of these I’ve re-downloaded only to delete again, and when I say that I mean I’ve deleted my account. No, I didn’t disable it, no I didn’t just remove the app. I want to be a better person for myself. I want to do things that make me proud. I want to look back at how I used to be, and I don’t want to be ashamed of what I did, even if at the time I could’ve blamed depression.

Right now, I’m all for slow cooking. Nice conversations, making plans, liking someone because they’re great and they make me want to be just as great. I don’t send pictures of myself. I don’t need someone’s validation to feel worthy of love. I respect myself and I have standards.

Tell me about a change you’ve gone through in your life recently.

Happy Thursday!

Love, Miss Camila